So, I'm back from college for a little while. In all honesty I've been back for just over two weeks now. I got through my first term of college with good strong grades and lots of gnoledge.
But now I'm on break. I must say it's been good to get some sleep. Actually, it's been too good to get some sleep. I've slept way too much since I got home. There have been but three days in the last two and a half weeks that I have not sleept in 'till noon. It's kind of sad, 'cause by the time I wake up half the day is gone. Of course then I'm wide a wake at night while most people can barely stay wake.
It's been really weird being home after so long. Last time I lived here I had house hold responsibilities and all these things that I was doing. Now...I'm...not doing much. Granted, my dad has me working on a project. But other than that I don't have anything that I have to do.
Well, merry Christmas, happy new year, and God bless.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
What Does A Baby Have To Do With It?
"Gooood afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the experience of a life time. In this small box you will find more gadgets and what's'its than you could ever have imagined existed. That's right shoppers. This is your prrrrime opportunity. Within this box is everything that you and all your loved ones have ever wanted. So what are you waiting for? Give us a call and we'll send one rrright over free of charge!*"
*Free only when call is made at certain times of day and on leap years. Destination of said free box is varied based on random mailing address. Offer available only while supplies last.
You just gotta' love this time of year. All the joyful...ness. And all the Christmas...timey...ness.
Something about this time of year has actually bugged me the past few years, and I was coming into it this year the same way. It's rough, 'cause as a Christian I, of all people, should be greatly rejoicing this time of year. Yet, I found it difficult to do so.
At my Church's college group this last Sunday they talked about just that. The leader-dude opened telling us about how he used to dread Christmas. Ever since he was a child he hated it and even into his early adult years he abhorred Christmas. It was just a season of bad memories for him, and he told us some of those memories. Just listening to him I thought 'I don't have all that much to complain about, now do I?'
Anyway, he walked us through the true meaning of Christmas, without ever referencing the books of Matthew or Luke, I might add. Those are just the story of Christmas. The meaning of Christmas is actually found in Genesis 3, Isaiah 9:6-7, and John 1:14 (to name a few passages). I think that's one of the problems I've had over the years. I've heard the story a million and seven times "and the angel of the Lord appeared to Mary and said, 'behold you shall conceive and bear a son, and you will call his name "Emanuel", which means "God with us".'"(don't stone me if it's not an exact quote. I wrote it out from memory) The point is, even though it is an amazing and great story, I tend to get into this rut where the meaning of Christmas is just about the birth of a baby. And yeah, the baby was Jesus who was both God and man. But I would tend to forget the reason for the season to be so joyful. I forget that Christmas isn't so much about a birthday as it is about the coming of someone who would die. And not even just that, but that he would die to take the punishment for my sin, and that he would rise from the dead to show that he had come to free people from death.
Yes the Christmas story is amazing and full of all kinds of neat stuff. But if it becomes just a story about a birthday, it loses all meaning. If Christmas is just about a miraculous birth, then it lacks a good reason to celebrate this season year after year. It falls short.
The baby had a purpose. The celebration is for the coming of the one who was to fulfill that purpose. From the moment Adam and Eve were thrown out of the garden of Eden man has been waiting, searching for the one who would break the curses that God placed upon him. Thousands of years later he showed up...and no one noticed unless an angel showed up and told them.
Well, the point is, He was here, and he saved me, and he's coming back. So lets celebrate!
*confetti*
*Free only when call is made at certain times of day and on leap years. Destination of said free box is varied based on random mailing address. Offer available only while supplies last.
You just gotta' love this time of year. All the joyful...ness. And all the Christmas...timey...ness.
Something about this time of year has actually bugged me the past few years, and I was coming into it this year the same way. It's rough, 'cause as a Christian I, of all people, should be greatly rejoicing this time of year. Yet, I found it difficult to do so.
At my Church's college group this last Sunday they talked about just that. The leader-dude opened telling us about how he used to dread Christmas. Ever since he was a child he hated it and even into his early adult years he abhorred Christmas. It was just a season of bad memories for him, and he told us some of those memories. Just listening to him I thought 'I don't have all that much to complain about, now do I?'
Anyway, he walked us through the true meaning of Christmas, without ever referencing the books of Matthew or Luke, I might add. Those are just the story of Christmas. The meaning of Christmas is actually found in Genesis 3, Isaiah 9:6-7, and John 1:14 (to name a few passages). I think that's one of the problems I've had over the years. I've heard the story a million and seven times "and the angel of the Lord appeared to Mary and said, 'behold you shall conceive and bear a son, and you will call his name "Emanuel", which means "God with us".'"(don't stone me if it's not an exact quote. I wrote it out from memory) The point is, even though it is an amazing and great story, I tend to get into this rut where the meaning of Christmas is just about the birth of a baby. And yeah, the baby was Jesus who was both God and man. But I would tend to forget the reason for the season to be so joyful. I forget that Christmas isn't so much about a birthday as it is about the coming of someone who would die. And not even just that, but that he would die to take the punishment for my sin, and that he would rise from the dead to show that he had come to free people from death.
Yes the Christmas story is amazing and full of all kinds of neat stuff. But if it becomes just a story about a birthday, it loses all meaning. If Christmas is just about a miraculous birth, then it lacks a good reason to celebrate this season year after year. It falls short.
The baby had a purpose. The celebration is for the coming of the one who was to fulfill that purpose. From the moment Adam and Eve were thrown out of the garden of Eden man has been waiting, searching for the one who would break the curses that God placed upon him. Thousands of years later he showed up...and no one noticed unless an angel showed up and told them.
Well, the point is, He was here, and he saved me, and he's coming back. So lets celebrate!
*confetti*
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
I Am Blessed...
Heaven forbid I actually get to bed before midnight. ;-D
I would like to state for the record that I am not only a person of odd character, I am also a caricature of personal oddity--not to mention the fact that I am an oddly characteristic personality.
So this week has been interesting. Ups and downs, as usual. All in all, life is pretty good. There are times when I start thinking 'what am I doing here, and how is all this going to work out?', but those moments don't last too long.
I was finally able to go to college group last week at the church I've been attending. It was really good. The dude in charge (I don't know his official title) spoke on death in an attempt at giving us hope. He spoke from the passage in John--if my memory serves me well--where Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. The question he put before us was this:
"If the worst thing that can happen to us is death, then what do we have to be really worried about in this life?"
That's not to say that we are to just sit back and not worry about anything. The context had to do with getting caught up in the little things that tend to cause us to start freaking out. The things that we can't control, and that--in the long run--don't mean all that much.
It was a good lesson. He talk with me kind of afterward and said that he hoped that the lesson wasn't too much for me; that it wouldn't scare me off from coming back. With a heavy topic like that and the way "christianity"--with a small 'c'--is going these days I can understand why he might consider the possibility of my never returning. However, I assured him that I would return by stating "lay it on thick, just make sure it's true". It's actually really nice to hear teaching that isn't dumbed down for me or sugar coated. I like it when they say, 'this is what the Bible says. If you don't like it, tough. If it rubs you wrong, great. That means you have some growing to do. Join the club. Now let's start growing.' Of course none of that does any good unless they actually back it up with scripture, and he did.
I think I've been living in a state of almost numbed Christianity. I've heard all the good sayings. I've learned all the great Bible stories. I know a lot of the information, and I know that I should be doing something about it. But for some reason it just seems like hardly anything happens. Granted, I am doing some things, and I do try from time to time.
I think this is what I like about the teaching I've been getting lately. It's been like a club applied to the back of the head snapping me out of my seemingly stoic state. The club says 'there is a problem here, and if you aren't fighting it, you're causing it. So either join the fight or get out of the way. Cause there is a war going on, whether you like it or not. You can either wield the weapons of righteousness to the glory of God, or you can use the tactics of the evil one against your Lord and your creator. There is no option 'C'. So get your head into the battle.'
Anyway, be praying for me. I'm doing well, but I could be doing better. I'm still learning my weapons, and how to best use them.
I would like to state for the record that I am not only a person of odd character, I am also a caricature of personal oddity--not to mention the fact that I am an oddly characteristic personality.
So this week has been interesting. Ups and downs, as usual. All in all, life is pretty good. There are times when I start thinking 'what am I doing here, and how is all this going to work out?', but those moments don't last too long.
I was finally able to go to college group last week at the church I've been attending. It was really good. The dude in charge (I don't know his official title) spoke on death in an attempt at giving us hope. He spoke from the passage in John--if my memory serves me well--where Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. The question he put before us was this:
"If the worst thing that can happen to us is death, then what do we have to be really worried about in this life?"
That's not to say that we are to just sit back and not worry about anything. The context had to do with getting caught up in the little things that tend to cause us to start freaking out. The things that we can't control, and that--in the long run--don't mean all that much.
It was a good lesson. He talk with me kind of afterward and said that he hoped that the lesson wasn't too much for me; that it wouldn't scare me off from coming back. With a heavy topic like that and the way "christianity"--with a small 'c'--is going these days I can understand why he might consider the possibility of my never returning. However, I assured him that I would return by stating "lay it on thick, just make sure it's true". It's actually really nice to hear teaching that isn't dumbed down for me or sugar coated. I like it when they say, 'this is what the Bible says. If you don't like it, tough. If it rubs you wrong, great. That means you have some growing to do. Join the club. Now let's start growing.' Of course none of that does any good unless they actually back it up with scripture, and he did.
I think I've been living in a state of almost numbed Christianity. I've heard all the good sayings. I've learned all the great Bible stories. I know a lot of the information, and I know that I should be doing something about it. But for some reason it just seems like hardly anything happens. Granted, I am doing some things, and I do try from time to time.
I think this is what I like about the teaching I've been getting lately. It's been like a club applied to the back of the head snapping me out of my seemingly stoic state. The club says 'there is a problem here, and if you aren't fighting it, you're causing it. So either join the fight or get out of the way. Cause there is a war going on, whether you like it or not. You can either wield the weapons of righteousness to the glory of God, or you can use the tactics of the evil one against your Lord and your creator. There is no option 'C'. So get your head into the battle.'
Anyway, be praying for me. I'm doing well, but I could be doing better. I'm still learning my weapons, and how to best use them.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
*Sour Face* {*(^)*}
HAPPY LEMON DAY!!!
It's lemon day! It's lemon day! It is the day of lemon consumption and enjoyment! Yay!
sadly, however, I forgot until just a little while ago that this was lemon day. I'm sorry Ben.
I had remembered it all this week, and for the weeks prior. I promise. I even told other people about it. But come the day, and I forgot.
But I remember now. So let us put our hearts and our stomachs together and sing a joyous and sourly twisted song about the great fruit that God has given us to garnish our dishes of food and our drinks, and to consume with sourly twisted faces. Yay lemons!
It's lemon day! It's lemon day! It is the day of lemon consumption and enjoyment! Yay!
sadly, however, I forgot until just a little while ago that this was lemon day. I'm sorry Ben.
I had remembered it all this week, and for the weeks prior. I promise. I even told other people about it. But come the day, and I forgot.
But I remember now. So let us put our hearts and our stomachs together and sing a joyous and sourly twisted song about the great fruit that God has given us to garnish our dishes of food and our drinks, and to consume with sourly twisted faces. Yay lemons!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Ode To Old Friends
I just realized something about myself. I see myself as the kind of person who is very relationship oriented. I can do the hermit/loner thing to an extent, but I truly have a need for good and honest friends. Now when I say friends I don't mean it by the definition some people use (just cause I know your name does not mean you are my friend--that's called an acquaintance). I need people who I feel I can be around without being fake; people who I feel comfortable being myself around; people I can be open and honest with; people who speak into my life, and whose lives I can speak into. I focus a good chunk of my life on these relationships. This is a big part of how I live.
So, you'd think that with all the changes that have occurred in my life in the last few years--changes in relationships, locations of residence, and all that good stuff--that I would be thrown through a loop about all these relationships I've lost, or that have diminished, and with all these new ones I have started working on--knowing that they won't last long either in the big picture. You'd think that I would be really put off by it...At least I would. I'm looking at it right now, and I'm thinking 'why am I not more upset about all this? Why doesn't this bother me any more than it does?'. I could reason it with the stoickness of my personality . I don't get really emotional very often. But why is that? If relationships are such a huge part of my life, why don't I become more emotional about the whole thing. I care about these people and these relationships. I still think about relationships that I had when I was in grade school.
Now the relationships are deeper and more meaningful. So, why am I not bothered all that much by just uprooting myself from my home of half my life and moving the farthest away from that home I've ever lived for the next four years? Admittedly, it has bothered me a little, and I've spent a little time pouring out my heart to God over the matter. But then it's 'back to business', and working on those new relationships.
So maybe this is a better question: Why would I spend any more time than I already have wallowing over the fact that those old connections are gone--at least for a time, though most of them indefinitely (until heaven, that is)? I have spent my time in mourning over my displacement from my friends. But if I spend any more time I would miss all of the opportunities I have to meet new people, and to go beyond my small town acquaintances.
There was a time when God blessed me with a group of friends to be around, and to grow with. That was a blessing; a gift. He could just as easily allowed me to continue my life in solitude (though that's a hard concept for me to grasp, having grown up with five siblings). He could have said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you. You don't need other people; you have me, and that's all you need.' And he did do that for a short time. He was under no obligation to provide friends for me. But, He saw that it was a good thing for me to have others to talk with, and to grow with, and to learn from, and to teach. He saw that it was good...For a time.
That time has ended, He has seen fit for me to move on from those relationships. It is now no longer profitable for His kingdom that I should continue to be as actively connected with those people. And, so, He has repositioned me, and given me new friends to learn from, and to grow with, and to teach. He has placed me here for a reason, and he will do great things through this.
All this is not to say that I will completely avoid all contact with my friends back home. In fact, I still email and IM (Instant Messenger) all my closest friends so as to stay in touch. But to continually look back and say, 'Why, why have you taken all these good things from me, O Lord?' That would be foolish when the answer is right in front of me: 'Because I have found better things for you, just as I have found better things for them. They are not your concern; they are mine. You serve me, here, now. This is what is good.'
So, you'd think that with all the changes that have occurred in my life in the last few years--changes in relationships, locations of residence, and all that good stuff--that I would be thrown through a loop about all these relationships I've lost, or that have diminished, and with all these new ones I have started working on--knowing that they won't last long either in the big picture. You'd think that I would be really put off by it...At least I would. I'm looking at it right now, and I'm thinking 'why am I not more upset about all this? Why doesn't this bother me any more than it does?'. I could reason it with the stoickness of my personality . I don't get really emotional very often. But why is that? If relationships are such a huge part of my life, why don't I become more emotional about the whole thing. I care about these people and these relationships. I still think about relationships that I had when I was in grade school.
Now the relationships are deeper and more meaningful. So, why am I not bothered all that much by just uprooting myself from my home of half my life and moving the farthest away from that home I've ever lived for the next four years? Admittedly, it has bothered me a little, and I've spent a little time pouring out my heart to God over the matter. But then it's 'back to business', and working on those new relationships.
So maybe this is a better question: Why would I spend any more time than I already have wallowing over the fact that those old connections are gone--at least for a time, though most of them indefinitely (until heaven, that is)? I have spent my time in mourning over my displacement from my friends. But if I spend any more time I would miss all of the opportunities I have to meet new people, and to go beyond my small town acquaintances.
There was a time when God blessed me with a group of friends to be around, and to grow with. That was a blessing; a gift. He could just as easily allowed me to continue my life in solitude (though that's a hard concept for me to grasp, having grown up with five siblings). He could have said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you. You don't need other people; you have me, and that's all you need.' And he did do that for a short time. He was under no obligation to provide friends for me. But, He saw that it was a good thing for me to have others to talk with, and to grow with, and to learn from, and to teach. He saw that it was good...For a time.
That time has ended, He has seen fit for me to move on from those relationships. It is now no longer profitable for His kingdom that I should continue to be as actively connected with those people. And, so, He has repositioned me, and given me new friends to learn from, and to grow with, and to teach. He has placed me here for a reason, and he will do great things through this.
All this is not to say that I will completely avoid all contact with my friends back home. In fact, I still email and IM (Instant Messenger) all my closest friends so as to stay in touch. But to continually look back and say, 'Why, why have you taken all these good things from me, O Lord?' That would be foolish when the answer is right in front of me: 'Because I have found better things for you, just as I have found better things for them. They are not your concern; they are mine. You serve me, here, now. This is what is good.'
Friday, October 20, 2006
Weeeeeeeeeeee!
"How is the college life?" This seems to be the question of the last couple months--and I'm sure the next year as well.
I think I will attempt to answer this question by describing my life yesterday.
It all started with the normal classes. Thursdays I have freshman seminar which is basically a group designed to make sure that new students aren't falling behind and without any hope or help. On the school website it showed that we had an assignment due yesterday in this class. So I did the reading and answered the questions. No problem. Then we get to class and he says that he didn't actually physically assign it to us, so it wasn't due. Ugh! Good news, I now don't have to do the assignment for next week so long as I turn in the assignment that I already did.
After that I have intro to worship studies (I'm a worship arts major). We had to turn in the rough draft of our definitions of worship. Over all, not a bad day for that class.
Next comes voice class (cause voice is my primary instrument and the class is cheaper than paying for lessons). It was in this class that I was reminded of a paper we were assigned that I had forgotten about...And it was due right then. Well, actually it was just due that day. So the teacher told me that as long as I got it to her before she left the campus @5:15, it would be good. Well, that's great...Except that I have classes until 4:30 on Thursdays. Woo hoo!
After this I had lunch. Yay!
Then comes Aural skills. We talked about our song rating systems that we came up with. Mine is an ear diagram. I'm still not entirely sure that it was such a great idea. All I know is that I was told to be creative, so I was.
This is then followed by choir. We had our stage rehearsal because tonight we have a performance. So that was all fine and dandy.
After this I ran to the music house, wrote up my paper for voice class, and turned it in before 5:15. Huzzah!
Now comes the exciting part. While everyone else is going crazy (because yesterday was open dorms for the guys--in other words girls were allowed to come into the guy dorms. ugh.) I had to get all my reading--from 2 Chronicles through Esther--done so I could fill out the write up and turn it in for my class the next morning. Suffice it to say I was up until 3 in the morning--and not cause I slacked off either. I was on the ball...Just last minute.
Well, I need to go get ready for my concert. Laters.
I think I will attempt to answer this question by describing my life yesterday.
It all started with the normal classes. Thursdays I have freshman seminar which is basically a group designed to make sure that new students aren't falling behind and without any hope or help. On the school website it showed that we had an assignment due yesterday in this class. So I did the reading and answered the questions. No problem. Then we get to class and he says that he didn't actually physically assign it to us, so it wasn't due. Ugh! Good news, I now don't have to do the assignment for next week so long as I turn in the assignment that I already did.
After that I have intro to worship studies (I'm a worship arts major). We had to turn in the rough draft of our definitions of worship. Over all, not a bad day for that class.
Next comes voice class (cause voice is my primary instrument and the class is cheaper than paying for lessons). It was in this class that I was reminded of a paper we were assigned that I had forgotten about...And it was due right then. Well, actually it was just due that day. So the teacher told me that as long as I got it to her before she left the campus @5:15, it would be good. Well, that's great...Except that I have classes until 4:30 on Thursdays. Woo hoo!
After this I had lunch. Yay!
Then comes Aural skills. We talked about our song rating systems that we came up with. Mine is an ear diagram. I'm still not entirely sure that it was such a great idea. All I know is that I was told to be creative, so I was.
This is then followed by choir. We had our stage rehearsal because tonight we have a performance. So that was all fine and dandy.
After this I ran to the music house, wrote up my paper for voice class, and turned it in before 5:15. Huzzah!
Now comes the exciting part. While everyone else is going crazy (because yesterday was open dorms for the guys--in other words girls were allowed to come into the guy dorms. ugh.) I had to get all my reading--from 2 Chronicles through Esther--done so I could fill out the write up and turn it in for my class the next morning. Suffice it to say I was up until 3 in the morning--and not cause I slacked off either. I was on the ball...Just last minute.
Well, I need to go get ready for my concert. Laters.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Ahg, My Back, My Neck, My Legs...OUCH! MY BRAIN!
If I think I'm sore right now, I can't wait to see how I feel in the morning. Oh boy.
Tonight for our hall sectional (my dorm hall and the hall adjacent) we played ultimate Frisbee...in the dark. We had glow stick bracelets to help identify our team mates from our...not...team mates. It was orange vs. blue. My hall was orange, the other hall was blue. However, due to the lack of people who were willing to risk bodily harm (sports people...they probably have a scholarship riding on their ability to play well at the next game) some people from the other hall didn't play. The result was that a couple guys had to play for the other side. Eh, no one else was jumping at the opportunity, so I went over to blue.
It was really fun...honest. I mean, once you got over the sub zero temperatures, and the lack of lighting and depth perception, it was really great. Of course I took some hits for the team, made some dives (some successful, others not so much). And there were times when I just stayed on one end of the field while I caught my breath and either played offence or defense (depending on what end of the field I was on, and which end had my team's goal). It was really fun. I helped make some big touch downs, and I messed up a lot of plays. But hey, that's how everyone was playing. I mean, come on, it's ultimate Frisbee IN THE DARK.
On a completely unrelated note, my group is leading worship for chapel on Thursday. That's right, Thursday. Now, you might be saying to yourself, "But I thought that chapel was on Monday, Wednesday, Friday at your school." And to that I say, "How in the world do you know so much about my schedule and my school?" Anyway, I guess some special speaker is coming on Thursday, so we are throwing our whole schedule for the day through a loop just to put chapel on Thursday. And that is the day that my group is leading worship.
Which brings us to another point. It seems as though the 'special speaker' wants to take a little more time that usual. Thus my group--rather than running the usual 4-5 song set--is only doing two songs on Thursday. But hey, that's cool. That just means that I don't have to worry about practicing a million songs on the bass. Yeah, they are having me play bass this go'round. It's actually pretty fun. My bass sounds really nice now that I just put a new set of strings on it. It's been wearing the same set of strings for the last four years. FOUR YEARS! I'm surprised none of them snapped and killed anyone. Oh well, maybe next time.
Well, it's late and I have a sore day ahead of me. So, as 'Mac' would say, "Happy Tuesday".
Tonight for our hall sectional (my dorm hall and the hall adjacent) we played ultimate Frisbee...in the dark. We had glow stick bracelets to help identify our team mates from our...not...team mates. It was orange vs. blue. My hall was orange, the other hall was blue. However, due to the lack of people who were willing to risk bodily harm (sports people...they probably have a scholarship riding on their ability to play well at the next game) some people from the other hall didn't play. The result was that a couple guys had to play for the other side. Eh, no one else was jumping at the opportunity, so I went over to blue.
It was really fun...honest. I mean, once you got over the sub zero temperatures, and the lack of lighting and depth perception, it was really great. Of course I took some hits for the team, made some dives (some successful, others not so much). And there were times when I just stayed on one end of the field while I caught my breath and either played offence or defense (depending on what end of the field I was on, and which end had my team's goal). It was really fun. I helped make some big touch downs, and I messed up a lot of plays. But hey, that's how everyone was playing. I mean, come on, it's ultimate Frisbee IN THE DARK.
On a completely unrelated note, my group is leading worship for chapel on Thursday. That's right, Thursday. Now, you might be saying to yourself, "But I thought that chapel was on Monday, Wednesday, Friday at your school." And to that I say, "How in the world do you know so much about my schedule and my school?" Anyway, I guess some special speaker is coming on Thursday, so we are throwing our whole schedule for the day through a loop just to put chapel on Thursday. And that is the day that my group is leading worship.
Which brings us to another point. It seems as though the 'special speaker' wants to take a little more time that usual. Thus my group--rather than running the usual 4-5 song set--is only doing two songs on Thursday. But hey, that's cool. That just means that I don't have to worry about practicing a million songs on the bass. Yeah, they are having me play bass this go'round. It's actually pretty fun. My bass sounds really nice now that I just put a new set of strings on it. It's been wearing the same set of strings for the last four years. FOUR YEARS! I'm surprised none of them snapped and killed anyone. Oh well, maybe next time.
Well, it's late and I have a sore day ahead of me. So, as 'Mac' would say, "Happy Tuesday".
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