I'm not sure what I'm doing. It's a strange thing. While I was at college I found myself spending too much time with other people to the point that I wasn't getting enough rest. Now I sleep way too much, and--but for my buddy Ben--I'm not spending very much time around my friends. Sure I manage to get out a little. I've been helping out with stuff at my church. But that only gets me involved with people who are older and younger than I am. Not that I don't appreciate those friendships. They are great people and I love the time that I spend with them. But it's such a shift from living around people who are just about all in the same age bracket.
As I mentioned, Ben has been around here quite often. That has helped considerably.
But I'm still not sure what I'm doing. I'm kind of in a place where I'm looking at things that I've always accepted as 'the way things should be' and asking 'is that really the way things should be'. But maybe I'm just going about things the wrong way. Maybe I'm doing the exact same thing I was before, just trying to come at it from a different angle. This is going to take a while.
Laters.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Truth Exists
I don't know what I'm going to do
In a year,
In a month,
When I'm thirty-six.
I don't know where I'm going to be:
In this state,
In this country,
Across the great blue oceans.
I don't know what's going on around me:
In politics,
In economics,
In people's lives.
There are a lot of things that I don't know.
What's most important is what I do know.
I know I'm a sinner;
Imperfect,
Unclean,
Disgusting and shameful.
I know that I've been forgiven;
By grace
From God,
Through one perfect sacrifice.
I know that I am cared for;
Eternally,
Thoroughly,
By one who knows my every need.
I know that I am heard;
Every tear,
Every word,
Every cry for joy or pain.
I know that I am loved;
Completely,
Perfectly,
Until the end of time,
And beyond.
In a year,
In a month,
When I'm thirty-six.
I don't know where I'm going to be:
In this state,
In this country,
Across the great blue oceans.
I don't know what's going on around me:
In politics,
In economics,
In people's lives.
There are a lot of things that I don't know.
What's most important is what I do know.
I know I'm a sinner;
Imperfect,
Unclean,
Disgusting and shameful.
I know that I've been forgiven;
By grace
From God,
Through one perfect sacrifice.
I know that I am cared for;
Eternally,
Thoroughly,
By one who knows my every need.
I know that I am heard;
Every tear,
Every word,
Every cry for joy or pain.
I know that I am loved;
Completely,
Perfectly,
Until the end of time,
And beyond.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
A New Season
I'm back from school. Back in the good, ol', little, home town. I'm not even sure that last sentence made any sense.
Anyway, a lot of opportunities have opened up for me here. Mostly a lot of stuff in my church. I'm going to start running sound for Sunday services. My "training" will be this Sunday morning. I'm excited about that. It will be good to get some experience under my belt before this next school year, what with the sound tech job I'm hoping to get at school.
It also looks like I'll have a lot of opportunities to get involved in my church's youth stuff. I want to be careful with that though. I don't want to be the guy who never grows out of the youth group. I want to be involved because I think these kids need people who care about them to be involved in their lives outside of their home family--though inside the family of God. (Again, not sure if that sentence will make much sense.)
Anyway, I've got a few things lined up for me this summer. I'm looking forward to it. Maybe I'll keep you all posted. Laters.
Anyway, a lot of opportunities have opened up for me here. Mostly a lot of stuff in my church. I'm going to start running sound for Sunday services. My "training" will be this Sunday morning. I'm excited about that. It will be good to get some experience under my belt before this next school year, what with the sound tech job I'm hoping to get at school.
It also looks like I'll have a lot of opportunities to get involved in my church's youth stuff. I want to be careful with that though. I don't want to be the guy who never grows out of the youth group. I want to be involved because I think these kids need people who care about them to be involved in their lives outside of their home family--though inside the family of God. (Again, not sure if that sentence will make much sense.)
Anyway, I've got a few things lined up for me this summer. I'm looking forward to it. Maybe I'll keep you all posted. Laters.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Going Home Some Day
I'm going home.
It's true, I am going back home from college this week. I have to wait 'till Saturday because the college choir is singing for graduation. But after that's done, I'm heading home.
Finals week is almost over. I've taken all my tests. I just have to give one presentation tomorrow. Nothing terribly difficult. Friday I get to rest. Saturday I sing and come home. My freshman year is virtually over.
It's a crazy thing to think about. A kid who never thought he'd be in college has just finished his first year. It has been an interesting year. I've learned a lot: academically, socially, spiritually. I'm not the same person I was when I came to this school. And I don't want to be that person ever again. Sure there are still things about me that need to change. I'm not nearly perfect, and I won't be this side of Heaven. But I still desire change. I want to change in the right direction though.
It's hard, when you've grown up somewhere, and you have established a mentality that is attached to that place. And when you leave that place, your mentality changes and the way you view and live life changes. But when you come back it's so easy to pick up the old ways, and start living the old life as if nothing over the last few months or years had ever happened. That's the easy way to do it. The path of least resistance. Sure I can live this way here, because this is the kind of life I know here. But when I try to apply this life to that place, there are a lot of things that make it difficult.
I know it's not impossible. "For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37). It is possible, but it will be hard. The best thing I can do is continue to pursue my relationship with God. It can happen. Pray for me.
The good news is when this is all over I'm going home...my real home.
It's true, I am going back home from college this week. I have to wait 'till Saturday because the college choir is singing for graduation. But after that's done, I'm heading home.
Finals week is almost over. I've taken all my tests. I just have to give one presentation tomorrow. Nothing terribly difficult. Friday I get to rest. Saturday I sing and come home. My freshman year is virtually over.
It's a crazy thing to think about. A kid who never thought he'd be in college has just finished his first year. It has been an interesting year. I've learned a lot: academically, socially, spiritually. I'm not the same person I was when I came to this school. And I don't want to be that person ever again. Sure there are still things about me that need to change. I'm not nearly perfect, and I won't be this side of Heaven. But I still desire change. I want to change in the right direction though.
It's hard, when you've grown up somewhere, and you have established a mentality that is attached to that place. And when you leave that place, your mentality changes and the way you view and live life changes. But when you come back it's so easy to pick up the old ways, and start living the old life as if nothing over the last few months or years had ever happened. That's the easy way to do it. The path of least resistance. Sure I can live this way here, because this is the kind of life I know here. But when I try to apply this life to that place, there are a lot of things that make it difficult.
I know it's not impossible. "For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37). It is possible, but it will be hard. The best thing I can do is continue to pursue my relationship with God. It can happen. Pray for me.
The good news is when this is all over I'm going home...my real home.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
To Now, Tomorrow, And The Rest Of Forever. Cheers!
I've tried posting twice in the last three days. Neither of those times really happened.
Anyway, I'm doing pretty well these days. I mean, other than the fact that I have a three to five page argument paper rough draft due in three days, an exam that same day, two concerts coming up (band/orchestra on the 20th, and choir on the 27th--both Fridays), and a pretty good size project due in three weeks that really needs to be started as soon as possible...other than that, I'm doing great. Really, those things don't get me down. I mean, that's just a part of the life God has me living. No need to get freaked out about it. At the end of it I'll be in Heaven no matter what happens. So, I might as well live like it.
Granted, I probably need to get myself a little more motivated in all these projects that I have. It's not that I am drudging the projects. I'm actually very excited about them for the most part. That's the nice thing about college, you get to work on the things you love doing and study the things your interested in. Even in classes like speech and writing you can turn the focus of your projects toward things that your interested in.
The class I'm not looking forward to is social studies. History: I just don't get it. I'm not good at the 'names & dates' game, and I have no idea what the social-economic implications of the Soviet revolt were. (and, no, I don't know what the Soviet revolt was, or if there ever was one)
Yeah, I know, some of you are thinking 'this kid is in poor shape'. Pretty much. Like I said, I'm not looking forward to it.
I am, however, looking forward to music history. The cool thing is music history actually takes the place of the the usual world history class taught at my school. After writing my research paper on music in the church I am quite excited about music history. That class should be able to give me a better idea of the development of music in the church, and how it affected and was affected by the culture around it. Oh yes, it should be very interesting.
Anyway, I'm doing pretty well these days. I mean, other than the fact that I have a three to five page argument paper rough draft due in three days, an exam that same day, two concerts coming up (band/orchestra on the 20th, and choir on the 27th--both Fridays), and a pretty good size project due in three weeks that really needs to be started as soon as possible...other than that, I'm doing great. Really, those things don't get me down. I mean, that's just a part of the life God has me living. No need to get freaked out about it. At the end of it I'll be in Heaven no matter what happens. So, I might as well live like it.
Granted, I probably need to get myself a little more motivated in all these projects that I have. It's not that I am drudging the projects. I'm actually very excited about them for the most part. That's the nice thing about college, you get to work on the things you love doing and study the things your interested in. Even in classes like speech and writing you can turn the focus of your projects toward things that your interested in.
The class I'm not looking forward to is social studies. History: I just don't get it. I'm not good at the 'names & dates' game, and I have no idea what the social-economic implications of the Soviet revolt were. (and, no, I don't know what the Soviet revolt was, or if there ever was one)
Yeah, I know, some of you are thinking 'this kid is in poor shape'. Pretty much. Like I said, I'm not looking forward to it.
I am, however, looking forward to music history. The cool thing is music history actually takes the place of the the usual world history class taught at my school. After writing my research paper on music in the church I am quite excited about music history. That class should be able to give me a better idea of the development of music in the church, and how it affected and was affected by the culture around it. Oh yes, it should be very interesting.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Is It Plagurizing If I Don't Cite God As The Source?
He did it. God did it again.
Today I needed to have all fifteen pages of my rough draft written out for my college writing class. As of yesterday morning I had a total of five pages. As of last night at 3:30 AM I had all fifteen pages. God did it again. He gave me ten pages in one day. That's as much as the largest paper I had ever written 'till yesterday.
It continually amazes me how simply the solutions come when God provides them. Of course there are times when God uses a lot of complex circumstances to bring about a solution. But what I'm talking about is how often times when I try and I try to solve a problem on my own things become so complicated and it only gets harder and harder without any completion. Yet so many times when I have depended on God everything has come together perfectly and in good time, and the solution was so much more simple. This is not to say that it is easy. Having faith is no easy task. Trusting in God is not always an easy thing. It was especially difficult early on in my relationship with God. Over time, however, I began to see many of the things He had been doing in my life, and many of the things He had accomplished. And at the same time it became more and more easy to trust God in all kinds of situations.
I'm still working on trusting Him in all things. I still struggle in this area, but God and I are working on it.
Praise the Lord!
Laters.
Today I needed to have all fifteen pages of my rough draft written out for my college writing class. As of yesterday morning I had a total of five pages. As of last night at 3:30 AM I had all fifteen pages. God did it again. He gave me ten pages in one day. That's as much as the largest paper I had ever written 'till yesterday.
It continually amazes me how simply the solutions come when God provides them. Of course there are times when God uses a lot of complex circumstances to bring about a solution. But what I'm talking about is how often times when I try and I try to solve a problem on my own things become so complicated and it only gets harder and harder without any completion. Yet so many times when I have depended on God everything has come together perfectly and in good time, and the solution was so much more simple. This is not to say that it is easy. Having faith is no easy task. Trusting in God is not always an easy thing. It was especially difficult early on in my relationship with God. Over time, however, I began to see many of the things He had been doing in my life, and many of the things He had accomplished. And at the same time it became more and more easy to trust God in all kinds of situations.
I'm still working on trusting Him in all things. I still struggle in this area, but God and I are working on it.
Praise the Lord!
Laters.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Paper In A Bucket
Today was an alright day. My keyboarding class is usually a little depressing(that's piano keyboard, not computer keyboard) but other than that, I had a great day. It was a little different. Usually I'm really busy from morning 'till night. Today I didn't even get up 'till Ten O'clock. My ten thirty class (the first one I have on Tuesdays and Thursdays) was canceled. This is why I was able to get 7 and a half hours of sleep last night.
Yesterday I took three naps. And these weren't my usual 10 minute power naps; these were the full on hour to two hour naps. Three of them. I've been needing that for a long time.
I also had two exams yesterday. The first was in my Bible survey class. I'm pretty sure I did really well on it. I knew most of the answers. How much better can it get? The second was in college writing. It was a "works cited" exam, making sure we knew how it worked and the format to use. I aced that one, and I'm not even a big English/writing buff. I guess when it comes to absolutes, formulae, and standard formats I can pick it up pretty quickly. Anyway, I passed.
I'm still staring down the barrel of a fifteen page paper. Sure, I have five pages of it, and The last one and a half to two pages is supposed to be the conclusion, but I still haven't cited many sources. I guess I'll get there. When it comes to writing papers for me, there is no doubt that anything good--or at the very least complete--is a gift from God. Some of you readers may remember the thanksgiving week fiasco last school year(Sunday, November 27, 2005). When I had my ten page research paper all written out, but the the floppy disk I had it saved onto stopped working. Yeah, I don't like research papers. But if that's what God has me doing, that's what I got to do. The good news is, once I am done with it, I'm done with it.
Today I had my usual Thursday classes (aside from the one that was canceled). Three classes, 12-6PM with a one hour break between each class. At six I had to book it from my last class over to another building so I could help set up a sound system for an event that was going on this evening. It was part of a class assignment.
For my tech class I have to help set up and run a sound system four times, run a light board twice, and run a video/visual system twice. I've now completed three of the sound requirements as well as one of the lighting requirements. It's a really neat class.
I'll admit, I've been really worried and freaked out by a lot of things that "need" to happen. Deadlines can be killer--pardon the pun. But even amid the chaos and frustration God has given me a lot of peace this year. It's been really cool to see him working in my life. I'm excited to see what He does about all these assignments, cause I know there is no way I can do any of it without Him.
Well, I'm sure I'll be better prepared for God to use me if I get some sleep. So, I'm going to get on that. Laters.
Yesterday I took three naps. And these weren't my usual 10 minute power naps; these were the full on hour to two hour naps. Three of them. I've been needing that for a long time.
I also had two exams yesterday. The first was in my Bible survey class. I'm pretty sure I did really well on it. I knew most of the answers. How much better can it get? The second was in college writing. It was a "works cited" exam, making sure we knew how it worked and the format to use. I aced that one, and I'm not even a big English/writing buff. I guess when it comes to absolutes, formulae, and standard formats I can pick it up pretty quickly. Anyway, I passed.
I'm still staring down the barrel of a fifteen page paper. Sure, I have five pages of it, and The last one and a half to two pages is supposed to be the conclusion, but I still haven't cited many sources. I guess I'll get there. When it comes to writing papers for me, there is no doubt that anything good--or at the very least complete--is a gift from God. Some of you readers may remember the thanksgiving week fiasco last school year(Sunday, November 27, 2005). When I had my ten page research paper all written out, but the the floppy disk I had it saved onto stopped working. Yeah, I don't like research papers. But if that's what God has me doing, that's what I got to do. The good news is, once I am done with it, I'm done with it.
Today I had my usual Thursday classes (aside from the one that was canceled). Three classes, 12-6PM with a one hour break between each class. At six I had to book it from my last class over to another building so I could help set up a sound system for an event that was going on this evening. It was part of a class assignment.
For my tech class I have to help set up and run a sound system four times, run a light board twice, and run a video/visual system twice. I've now completed three of the sound requirements as well as one of the lighting requirements. It's a really neat class.
I'll admit, I've been really worried and freaked out by a lot of things that "need" to happen. Deadlines can be killer--pardon the pun. But even amid the chaos and frustration God has given me a lot of peace this year. It's been really cool to see him working in my life. I'm excited to see what He does about all these assignments, cause I know there is no way I can do any of it without Him.
Well, I'm sure I'll be better prepared for God to use me if I get some sleep. So, I'm going to get on that. Laters.
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