The Monster I've Become

Every monster needs an owner; someone to feed it, care for it, and raise it as his own. There are all kinds of owners, and each one will raise a different sort of monster. Suffice it to say that when making a monster the first step is to find an owner.
The next thing is to give the owner an Idea. This is where creativity and careful selection comes in. Different owners will respond to different Ideas. The most important element is that the Idea be given a label. Some owners will respond best if the Idea has a label that is simple yet strong, such as “true”, “right”, or “just.” Others will attach themselves more to Ideas labeled “fun”, “popular”, “manly”, or even “secure.” For some it is better to give them a “good” Idea, others will attend more to a “bad” Idea. If it is a truly “good” Idea, the monster will likely grow big and strong yet remain unnoticed. For the Idea is the monster (or at least the guise of the monster). As the owner feeds the Idea, the monster grows.
 It matters little if anyone else does or does not see the monster. Especially if the Idea is a “good” one, others are likely to help in the feeding. Most important is that the owner sees the labels “true” and “right” whenever the Idea enters the room… at least for the time being.
Eventually the owner will begin to compare everything else with his “right” Idea; first a little foible in his boss, then some ignorance in his neighbor. He will tolerate these for some time, comforting himself in the thought that he has the “truth” and knows “right” from not.
Then one day the owner will exhibit his Idea—of moderate size by this time—to his friends. He will put it on display for them to bask in the power and beauty of his very own Idea. His friends, however, will be less than impressed. Some will laugh, some will shrug, and some will return to their discussions of caviar and Cadbury eggs. One of his friends might show an interest in the Idea, but only enough to draw the discussion to his own Idea (which has been locked up in his basement for the last three months).
The owner will become infuriated by the response of his friends. Here he has a perfectly good Idea—more than that, it is the “right” Idea—and they won’t even give it the time of day! What is to be done? How can he convince them, exhort them, set them straight? After all, he’s got the “right” Idea, and everyone should recognize it.
What the owner doesn’t realize is that over all this time, as the Idea has been fed, and tended, and grown, it has also changed. It is no longer the Idea it was in the beginning. What started out as a “good” Idea may have turned slowly and imperceptibly into a rather “bad” Idea. Or it may simply be another generally “good” Idea. Either way, the owner will think it is still the same Idea he fed from a little “thought”, and try to feed it in much the same manner as before. What’s worse, after the fiasco with his friends he will try to feed it much more in hopes that it will grow to an un-shruggable, un-laughable, un-snubbable size. With a “true” and “right” Idea that big, everyone will have to recognize it—even his incompetent neighbor.
Unfortunately, the Idea will not be pleased with this dietary strategy. Food for “thought” is not food fit for grand Ideas. It will become discontent, and demand ever more creative sources of fulfillment. The Idea will grow. That much the owner will achieve. But it will grow distorted and gnarled. It will become too big for its cage, and the owner will find it following him everywhere.
The Idea will follow him to work and chew up his boss’s desk. It will follow him to church and eat the hat off the old lady in the third pew on the left (the lady who wears far too much perfume and coughs something horrible during the climax of every sermon). It will even get into the neighbor’s yard and dig up all the tulips, and bite an ear off the neighbor’s schnauzer.
Before he knows what has happened, the owner will be carrying his destructive monster of an Idea with him everywhere. And do you know what people will think? Will they be impressed, or convinced, or even concerned? Chances are…they will not.
What is more likely is that they will recognize the monster for what it is—a very bad Idea. They will respond to it with great indifference and the subtle satisfaction of knowing that their own Idea is so much “better.”