Week three:
Sunday was a huge surprise for me. After working all afternoon I was given an unexpected challenge. One of the counselors for the camp this week didn't show up, and they asked me to fill in for one night until they could get a replacement. It wasn't the relaxing evening I had in mind. However, it was exactly the evening God had in mind for me.
After spending at least a week of summer staff feeling worn out and drained I never would have thought that a night of watching middle schoolers was exactly what I needed. But, oddly enough, the next morning I felt wonderfully rejuvenated. The days that followed were all equally energized. God is so good...even if he does provide in strange ways.
This last week has been full of beautiful, painful and exciting moments in our community. We have been able to support each other, challenge each other and grow with each other. I know that I am playing a good part in this community, but I continue to wonder if there is something that I am missing. Is it enough to be there for people; to support and encourage and provide what I can when it's needed? Or do I need to be more actively pursuing people's needs?
I need God's grace so much. The more and more I pursue him and desire to follow him, the more I realize just how much I need him. I need his grace. I need his love. I need his joy.
Lord help me?
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Following To Lead
We're finally into the swing of things here on twin rocks summer staff. We've almost finished our first work week. It is really different being on lifeguard duty. Because of the weather it is mostly just standing around watching a few people paddle around in canoes. So far I haven't had to jump in and rescue anyone. That's a good thing.
During all my maintenance work time I've been helping one of the head facilities guys build a storage shed for the archery equipment. I've never seen myself as much of a wood worker/builder person because I've had too many of those projects in the past turn out...poorly. However, this project has been very enjoyable, and it's coming along great; it looks amazing.
My evenings have been pretty busy the last few days preparing for a worship service we had Tuesday evening. It was really neat to see God work in and through my accountability group (which was responsible for the service) both in the planning and implementation of the service. I had my concerns at the beginning of the process, but God quickly worked to iron those out.
It will be nice to have my evenings back--now that the service is over--so that I can focus more on developing relationships with the other summer staff.
In the last few days I've been told by several people how others in the summer staff look up to me, or whatever. I only mention this because it is a truly frightening and humbling thing. If others are looking to me and my example, then that example needs to be directing them to Christ. How is that possible if I am not seeking and following Christ? That means that the most important element in my relationships with others is my relationship with God. It can be easy to lose sight of that, and it can be hard to know exactly how to pursue that.
So that is what I need--to be faithfully pursuing and enjoying my relationship with God, and following Christ's example. Please pray for me.
God bless.
During all my maintenance work time I've been helping one of the head facilities guys build a storage shed for the archery equipment. I've never seen myself as much of a wood worker/builder person because I've had too many of those projects in the past turn out...poorly. However, this project has been very enjoyable, and it's coming along great; it looks amazing.
My evenings have been pretty busy the last few days preparing for a worship service we had Tuesday evening. It was really neat to see God work in and through my accountability group (which was responsible for the service) both in the planning and implementation of the service. I had my concerns at the beginning of the process, but God quickly worked to iron those out.
It will be nice to have my evenings back--now that the service is over--so that I can focus more on developing relationships with the other summer staff.
In the last few days I've been told by several people how others in the summer staff look up to me, or whatever. I only mention this because it is a truly frightening and humbling thing. If others are looking to me and my example, then that example needs to be directing them to Christ. How is that possible if I am not seeking and following Christ? That means that the most important element in my relationships with others is my relationship with God. It can be easy to lose sight of that, and it can be hard to know exactly how to pursue that.
So that is what I need--to be faithfully pursuing and enjoying my relationship with God, and following Christ's example. Please pray for me.
God bless.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Living In Community
I have just completed the orientation week of Twin Rocks Friends Camp Summer Staff 2010. It has been an incredible week filled with fun games, great conversations, and new and renewed friendships. The sense of community so far gives me great hope for the summer ahead of us. Each individual has demonstrated such a deep love of Christ and attitude of service toward others that it cannot be questioned that I am among family.
Even so, I have encountered a few struggles this week. The most prevalent is the lack of energy I'm experiencing. I would like to chalk it all up to lack of sleep and hard days, but most of our time has been spent sitting in orientation classes. Perhaps this is only a passing phase as I adjust to summer staff life, but either way I'm going to need a great heap of God's strength and grace to continue the summer while living in community well.
The other thing that I'm struggling with is the danger of living in community. Although so much good has been demonstrated in the last week, there is always potential in people to hurt each other. We talk a lot here about making sure that this is a safe community for people to live in and share, but the fact of the matter is that there is always some danger. This danger should in no way keep us from loving each other and allowing others to love us, but it can be a formidable block to the kind of community we are trying to form.
Fear can override almost any intentions. The only way to combat fear is with love. "Perfect love casts out fear." So along with God's strength and grace I need God's love. "We love because He first loved us." He is the author and initiator of love. Without his love I can do nothing good.
This summer holds great hope and promise, but only if we continue this summer holding tightly to the unifying arms of God. Your prayers would be much appreciated.
God bless.
Even so, I have encountered a few struggles this week. The most prevalent is the lack of energy I'm experiencing. I would like to chalk it all up to lack of sleep and hard days, but most of our time has been spent sitting in orientation classes. Perhaps this is only a passing phase as I adjust to summer staff life, but either way I'm going to need a great heap of God's strength and grace to continue the summer while living in community well.
The other thing that I'm struggling with is the danger of living in community. Although so much good has been demonstrated in the last week, there is always potential in people to hurt each other. We talk a lot here about making sure that this is a safe community for people to live in and share, but the fact of the matter is that there is always some danger. This danger should in no way keep us from loving each other and allowing others to love us, but it can be a formidable block to the kind of community we are trying to form.
Fear can override almost any intentions. The only way to combat fear is with love. "Perfect love casts out fear." So along with God's strength and grace I need God's love. "We love because He first loved us." He is the author and initiator of love. Without his love I can do nothing good.
This summer holds great hope and promise, but only if we continue this summer holding tightly to the unifying arms of God. Your prayers would be much appreciated.
God bless.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Facing The Challenge
I can't remember whether or not I ever told you what I did last summer. I worked on summer staff at a christian camp on the Oregon coast. It was me and 15 other college students living, working and growing together in an encouraging and challenging community. We worked hard, we counseled selflessly and we loved and were loved overwhelmingly. There is so much I could say about that summer, but the reason I say this now is not to reminisce.
I am going back this summer. In fact I'm going back in just a few days for another three months of hard, intense, challenging and good community. I've been preparing for this for the last few months--in some ways for the last year. I've been convincing myself that it is going to be very different from last year--which is exactly right. I've also been convincing myself that it is going to be a tremendous challenge in many different ways--and I'm sure it will. And I've been praying that God will continue to prepare me for the things he has in store for me this summer--which I'm sure he has.
There is one thing I thought of this evening that I haven't done. I haven't asked God for specific challenges, for specific ways I would like to grow this summer. I've just assumed that stuff will come up--and I'm sure stuff will. However, there are some areas in my life that I know can use some work, so why not ask him to work on those areas in particular?
For a good chunk of my life I have been of the attitude that God will present me with opportunities for growth as he sees fit. Some times that meant sticking with classes or teachers that I was given even when I didn't think it would be possible for me to succeed. Other times it meant accepting opportunities that I knew God wanted me to pursue even though they frightened me. Time after time God has pushed me further and further out beyond my comfort zone, and with very little direction from me. It's a fine way to live, and it has worked well for us so far.
But what would happen if I recognized an area in my life that needed growth and actually asked God to challenge me in that area? That's a scary thought...because he just might answer.
Let's continue this thought, because even in scripture God doesn't give us challenge without encouragement.
Challenge means discomfort; it means unfamiliar territory. What happens if I get there and I'm not ready? What happens if I respond wrong? What happens if I don't know what to do?
Ah, but that's the beauty of God's work. "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." More than that, "it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."
It is the same God who has created us "in Christ Jesus to do good works, which [He] prepared in advance for us to do." This is the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. The God who brought his people, Israel, up out of Egypt; Who parted the sea so that his people could walk on dry land; who guided the same stubborn people through the dessert for forty years, providing for them in the wastelands. This is the same God who went to all the trouble of redeeming lost and wicked people through the sacrifice of his son. This is the same God who worked through fishermen and Pharisees; who turned a murderer into an apostle. The same God who has continued throughout history to take the most minuscule faith of the most simple people and honor it with his full power and provision.
If I can't trust the plans and challenges of that God, who can I trust? He is the only one who can give me just the kind of challenge I need, AND will always give me exactly what I need to grow through that challenge. He has proven it to me time and time again.
Things will still be rough, and I might even fail...at least to a degree. The trick is to turn to him, and if necessary confess my failure, because "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." And then continue forward remembering and learning from past mistakes.
What have I got to lose? "If God is for us, who can be against us?"
I am going back this summer. In fact I'm going back in just a few days for another three months of hard, intense, challenging and good community. I've been preparing for this for the last few months--in some ways for the last year. I've been convincing myself that it is going to be very different from last year--which is exactly right. I've also been convincing myself that it is going to be a tremendous challenge in many different ways--and I'm sure it will. And I've been praying that God will continue to prepare me for the things he has in store for me this summer--which I'm sure he has.
There is one thing I thought of this evening that I haven't done. I haven't asked God for specific challenges, for specific ways I would like to grow this summer. I've just assumed that stuff will come up--and I'm sure stuff will. However, there are some areas in my life that I know can use some work, so why not ask him to work on those areas in particular?
For a good chunk of my life I have been of the attitude that God will present me with opportunities for growth as he sees fit. Some times that meant sticking with classes or teachers that I was given even when I didn't think it would be possible for me to succeed. Other times it meant accepting opportunities that I knew God wanted me to pursue even though they frightened me. Time after time God has pushed me further and further out beyond my comfort zone, and with very little direction from me. It's a fine way to live, and it has worked well for us so far.
But what would happen if I recognized an area in my life that needed growth and actually asked God to challenge me in that area? That's a scary thought...because he just might answer.
Let's continue this thought, because even in scripture God doesn't give us challenge without encouragement.
Challenge means discomfort; it means unfamiliar territory. What happens if I get there and I'm not ready? What happens if I respond wrong? What happens if I don't know what to do?
Ah, but that's the beauty of God's work. "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." More than that, "it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."
It is the same God who has created us "in Christ Jesus to do good works, which [He] prepared in advance for us to do." This is the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. The God who brought his people, Israel, up out of Egypt; Who parted the sea so that his people could walk on dry land; who guided the same stubborn people through the dessert for forty years, providing for them in the wastelands. This is the same God who went to all the trouble of redeeming lost and wicked people through the sacrifice of his son. This is the same God who worked through fishermen and Pharisees; who turned a murderer into an apostle. The same God who has continued throughout history to take the most minuscule faith of the most simple people and honor it with his full power and provision.
If I can't trust the plans and challenges of that God, who can I trust? He is the only one who can give me just the kind of challenge I need, AND will always give me exactly what I need to grow through that challenge. He has proven it to me time and time again.
Things will still be rough, and I might even fail...at least to a degree. The trick is to turn to him, and if necessary confess my failure, because "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." And then continue forward remembering and learning from past mistakes.
What have I got to lose? "If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Jesus Loves Me...And He Loves You Too
The pictures are about as random as the music, but it's all original (with the exception of the images that have text over them).
Friday, April 02, 2010
"Let's See What You Can Do With This"
These are the words that went through my mind when I flipped my calendar over to April. I keep all my assignments for the term on my calendar, and April--much like the final month of every other term of school--has a lot of ink on it. It can be very easy for me to look at these next four weeks and think "there's no way. There is no physical possibility of accomplishing all of this in time without some damage to myself physically, mentally or academically. It's just not possible." Those are the thoughts that have filled my mind in the past, and they continue to revisit me every so often.
Such thoughts are not encouraging, which is why I am grateful for the thought that usually follows; "Some how God brought you through the same thing last term...and the term before that, and every other time before that, so there must be some way he can get you through this." This is a much more uplifting thought, but for some reason it doesn't make it automatically easy for me to face the challenge. I still have to take the first step forward into the unknown. It's scary. I know everything will be okay, but that doesn't mean it isn't going to be hard or that it will end the way I think it should.
So I have a choice: I can freak out, give in, and quit, OR I can keep going, trusting that no matter what God decides to do it will be for the best.
Thankfully God has created me to at least be sensible, if not trusting. Frankly, I don't have any better ideas or solutions, so I might as well keep going to the end.
All of this thought process boils down to a simple passing prayer that I have come to appreciate: "Let's see what you can do with this."
It's just a simple way of saying, "this is the mess I'm in. This is all I have to offer. You've done incredible things with far less. I look forward to seeing what masterpiece you make with this pile of rubble."
It sets up a sense of active observance and anticipation. God will do SOMETHING. I want to see how he does it. It carries a sense of determination to pursue the task, and submission toward the one who can accomplish the task. It is bold action in times of uncertainty. It is humble acquiescence in times of familiarity and pride. It is admitting that God is God, and I am not.
I only pray that this attitude would become a defining element of every aspect of my life.
Let's see what he can do with this.
Such thoughts are not encouraging, which is why I am grateful for the thought that usually follows; "Some how God brought you through the same thing last term...and the term before that, and every other time before that, so there must be some way he can get you through this." This is a much more uplifting thought, but for some reason it doesn't make it automatically easy for me to face the challenge. I still have to take the first step forward into the unknown. It's scary. I know everything will be okay, but that doesn't mean it isn't going to be hard or that it will end the way I think it should.
So I have a choice: I can freak out, give in, and quit, OR I can keep going, trusting that no matter what God decides to do it will be for the best.
Thankfully God has created me to at least be sensible, if not trusting. Frankly, I don't have any better ideas or solutions, so I might as well keep going to the end.
All of this thought process boils down to a simple passing prayer that I have come to appreciate: "Let's see what you can do with this."
It's just a simple way of saying, "this is the mess I'm in. This is all I have to offer. You've done incredible things with far less. I look forward to seeing what masterpiece you make with this pile of rubble."
It sets up a sense of active observance and anticipation. God will do SOMETHING. I want to see how he does it. It carries a sense of determination to pursue the task, and submission toward the one who can accomplish the task. It is bold action in times of uncertainty. It is humble acquiescence in times of familiarity and pride. It is admitting that God is God, and I am not.
I only pray that this attitude would become a defining element of every aspect of my life.
Let's see what he can do with this.
Monday, March 22, 2010
The Sin of Silence
Okay, I have something to say.
I want to be a teacher. I mean, that is what I really want to do with my life.
I don't care about teaching music. I don't care about teaching math, or English, or...any of that stuff.
I want to teach people how to live. I really want to teach young people, but it wouldn't bother me if I was teaching your grandmother. I want to teach people how to live a full and blessed life. I don't care how young or old; I don't care how much time the person has left on this earth. I want to teach people the challenges and joys of living true life.
I don't want to be the next Joel Osteen. This isn't about telling people how to live a peachy-keen life. I want to teach people how to live well the life they have.
There's just one problem (I should say at least one)--I'm a coward.
Some times I have a hard time addressing an apparent issue with a friend. How am I supposed to live as an example to hundreds of acquaintances and thousands of strangers? I don't know how to start meaningful conversations with people who have the same core values as I do. How am I supposed to engage the interests of people with whom I can't relate?
Even when I know what I need to say, I hold back wondering, "is this the right time? How will they respond? Am I practicing what I'm about to preach?"
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins" (James 4:17)
As if that weren't enough, God makes it clear what kind of work he does in contrast to the work of the flesh: "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7). If I truly love the people I interact with--if God's loving spirit is at work in me--it would make sense for me to act boldly, not timidly. Jesus told his disciples that when they were going to be challenged for their faith they need not worry about what they would say in their defense. Instead they were to trust that the Holy Spirit would give them the words to speak when the time came (Matt. 10:19, Mark 13:11, Luke 12:11, 21:14). Granted, I'm not being persecuted and put on trial for my faith.
Fear is what holds me back; fear of not being accepted, fear of being mocked, fear of being challenged, fear of being WRONG.
But I want to be a teacher.
Trouble is, "not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly" (James 3:1).
It's too late for me. I cannot escape the fact that I WILL BE A TEACHER. I must; that is the passion that God put in me.
The question now is this:
Will I cower in fear of the potential ridicule and chiding of this world,
OR
Will I continue boldly, fearing only the certain judgment that awaits my cowardice?
I want to be a teacher. I mean, that is what I really want to do with my life.
I don't care about teaching music. I don't care about teaching math, or English, or...any of that stuff.
I want to teach people how to live. I really want to teach young people, but it wouldn't bother me if I was teaching your grandmother. I want to teach people how to live a full and blessed life. I don't care how young or old; I don't care how much time the person has left on this earth. I want to teach people the challenges and joys of living true life.
I don't want to be the next Joel Osteen. This isn't about telling people how to live a peachy-keen life. I want to teach people how to live well the life they have.
There's just one problem (I should say at least one)--I'm a coward.
Some times I have a hard time addressing an apparent issue with a friend. How am I supposed to live as an example to hundreds of acquaintances and thousands of strangers? I don't know how to start meaningful conversations with people who have the same core values as I do. How am I supposed to engage the interests of people with whom I can't relate?
Even when I know what I need to say, I hold back wondering, "is this the right time? How will they respond? Am I practicing what I'm about to preach?"
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins" (James 4:17)
As if that weren't enough, God makes it clear what kind of work he does in contrast to the work of the flesh: "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7). If I truly love the people I interact with--if God's loving spirit is at work in me--it would make sense for me to act boldly, not timidly. Jesus told his disciples that when they were going to be challenged for their faith they need not worry about what they would say in their defense. Instead they were to trust that the Holy Spirit would give them the words to speak when the time came (Matt. 10:19, Mark 13:11, Luke 12:11, 21:14). Granted, I'm not being persecuted and put on trial for my faith.
Fear is what holds me back; fear of not being accepted, fear of being mocked, fear of being challenged, fear of being WRONG.
But I want to be a teacher.
Trouble is, "not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly" (James 3:1).
It's too late for me. I cannot escape the fact that I WILL BE A TEACHER. I must; that is the passion that God put in me.
The question now is this:
Will I cower in fear of the potential ridicule and chiding of this world,
OR
Will I continue boldly, fearing only the certain judgment that awaits my cowardice?
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