These are the words that went through my mind when I flipped my calendar over to April. I keep all my assignments for the term on my calendar, and April--much like the final month of every other term of school--has a lot of ink on it. It can be very easy for me to look at these next four weeks and think "there's no way. There is no physical possibility of accomplishing all of this in time without some damage to myself physically, mentally or academically. It's just not possible." Those are the thoughts that have filled my mind in the past, and they continue to revisit me every so often.
Such thoughts are not encouraging, which is why I am grateful for the thought that usually follows; "Some how God brought you through the same thing last term...and the term before that, and every other time before that, so there must be some way he can get you through this." This is a much more uplifting thought, but for some reason it doesn't make it automatically easy for me to face the challenge. I still have to take the first step forward into the unknown. It's scary. I know everything will be okay, but that doesn't mean it isn't going to be hard or that it will end the way I think it should.
So I have a choice: I can freak out, give in, and quit, OR I can keep going, trusting that no matter what God decides to do it will be for the best.
Thankfully God has created me to at least be sensible, if not trusting. Frankly, I don't have any better ideas or solutions, so I might as well keep going to the end.
All of this thought process boils down to a simple passing prayer that I have come to appreciate: "Let's see what you can do with this."
It's just a simple way of saying, "this is the mess I'm in. This is all I have to offer. You've done incredible things with far less. I look forward to seeing what masterpiece you make with this pile of rubble."
It sets up a sense of active observance and anticipation. God will do SOMETHING. I want to see how he does it. It carries a sense of determination to pursue the task, and submission toward the one who can accomplish the task. It is bold action in times of uncertainty. It is humble acquiescence in times of familiarity and pride. It is admitting that God is God, and I am not.
I only pray that this attitude would become a defining element of every aspect of my life.
Let's see what he can do with this.
