I have been locked up in my house for five weeks now. "Well no duh," says the world, "we all have."
Tomorrow starts week six of social distancing in Montana, and I want to ask everyone, "how are you doing?" I am very aware that this is a hard way to live, and harder for some than others. And I'm worried about many of you, and I wish I could help, but all I can do is tell you how I've made it through.
I don't mean how I've made it through the last few weeks. Let me give some context.
August of 2012 I left the populated regions of western Oregon for the vast open prairies of eastern Montana. For some perspective, I think the closest Starbucks is about 4 hours away...and in another country. I don't even live in a town in eastern Montana. Where I hang my hat is forty minutes from the nearest gas station. There is not a whole lot to do out here other than live, work, and enjoy the scenery.
Don't get me wrong. I love where I live and I have a fantastic community of people around me. But if you read my last post (*mumble mumble* two years ago *mumble mumble*), you know that I'm living here on my own, and have been for the last eight years. So when I go home at the end of the day (because there isn't much else to do) I get to live pretty much how many of you are living now. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no one to see.
Again, I love the life God has called me to, but after eight years of living like this I can tell you two things from experience:
First of all, it is hard. Some days are harder than others. You know that. I'm an introvert, so in a lot of ways I prefer this kind of life, but even still. It is hard. I don't want to pass over this fact because it is important to recognize. Even as we all face different forms and degrees of isolation and confinement, each of us is struggling with this in different ways and at different levels. Just because I generally live like this does NOT mean that I think everyone can do it. It's hard for me, and I basically prefer it. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for those of you who can't stand this sort of thing for one hour let alone one month.
And it's hard for a lot of reasons. For each person it's hard for different reasons. But overall, I would venture to guess (especially since it tends to be true even when surrounded by people) that one of the main reasons it is hard is because it feels so alone.
Whether you feel separated from friends, from family, from coworkers, from students, from teachers, from peers, or you feel alone as you try to care for your kids, your spouse, your parents, or yourself. That feeling of loneliness that isolation brings is hard.
But the other thing I know from eight years of living alone is that I have never been alone a day in my life. Even in my lowest, most isolated, most disconnected moments when it felt like there was no one else around; no one who was there; no one who understood; no one who cared; even when I felt like I was alone, I never was.
God has always been with me; always cared for me; always loved me; always understood me.
And He is always there for you too.
Feelings are real; loss, pain, loneliness, worry, fear. Feelings are real, but they are not always based in reality. Even though we feel alone, it does not mean we are alone.
It just so happened that I didn't get to see the latest Star Wars movie in theaters (this does relate, just give me a moment). So my first viewing of The Rise of Skywalker was towards the beginning of this whole quarantine process. It was perfectly timed, because one of the major ideas put forth in that film is this statement (and I might be paraphrasing but it's mostly right): "The enemy wins by making us think we are alone."
Don't let the enemy win!
As I said at the start. I'm concerned about you all. Even those of you whom I have never met and never will. I have been praying for you, and will continue to do so.
I'm doing fine now. I have a lot of experience with this, but I know how hard it has been for me over the last eight years, and I can't even imagine how hard it must be for some of you. But I want you to know this one thing:
You are Not Alone.
