The very presence of shame implies a standard. A person may be ashamed of their clothing because they recognize the standard of attire within their society. A man may be ashamed of his hobbies because of the stigma attached to those hobbies. A person may be ashamed of his actions if those actions defy the public authorities. A man may be ashamed of his sin because he sees it in light of God's righteousness.
No one likes to be exposed when they don't meet the standards they recognize. That's why we are okay with wearing whatever we want around the house, but might not want to wearing the same thing in public. That's why students don't mind bragging about their passing C's among peers, but try to avoid showing the report card to Mom and Dad.
"Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed" (John 3:19-20).
However, it is possible for a standard to exist without being recognized. Either the person does not recognize its existence, or he does not recognize it as valid. That's why tourists continue to stick out like sore thumbs in other countries. This is not to say that all standards should be recognized. There are a lot of standards that are not worth recognizing or are optional. Take a look at a high school commons during lunch and you will see a plethora of standards represented, and many of them in contradiction to each other. One has to choose which standards he will recognize as important.
There is, however, one standard which stands valid over all people, whether or not they recognize it. God's righteousness is a standard we will all face one day. Like Jesus says in the Gospel of John, men don't want to be exposed in the light of that standard because it brings a sense of shame.
Shame is fear of judgment.
The standard makes us feel shame because we are afraid of being judged according to that standard. Shame is not the judgment itself (that is condemnation).
If we all recognized the standard of God's righteousness we would be ashamed, which is why we avoid it. That is why men prefer the darkness where they feel their actions are not exposed to the light of God's righteousness. That is why men avoid God.
But Jesus came (and we are in the season of celebrating his first coming even now) to free us of that shame so that we might come to God freely and unashamed. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law [the standard] of sin and death" (Romans 8:1-2).
This is the message of grace (a free gift that we did not deserve). We no longer have to live in hiding; in darkness. We don't have to live in a way that is followed by the phrase, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." We can live righteously so that what we do in secret would only bring us honor if spoken of in public.
Are we perfect? No, but as we live openly and honestly before God he works in our lives to make us more and more like him in regards to righteousness.
"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!" (Romans 6:1-2) We have been freed from that life of filth and slavery. Why would we want to return to it? And on top of that there is still the standard of God's righteousness to recon with.
It is true that as Christians we are no longer condemned for not meeting the standard, and so we may approach God freely and confidently. But there is another judgment:
By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation [the Gospel; the foundation of salvation]... But each one should be careful how he builds...If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones [righteous works; living in accordance with the Spirit], wood, hay or straw [plain or worthless works; living according to selfish desires], his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day [of judgment] will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames. (1 Corinthians 3:10-15)
Notice that Paul is talking about a person who has the Gospel and is saved. Yet, even we who are saved will be judged according to how we build on this Christian life. When it comes to those things we do simply because they aren't outright forbidden in the Bible, do we really want to wager that those things are "gold, silver," and "costly stones"?
Therefore, brothers, let us not continue to walk in darkness as people who should be ashamed before God of their unrighteous deeds. But let us walk in the light, where our deeds are exposed, and we may learn to live according to the grace Paul speaks of in his letter to Titus:
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. (2:11-13)
Come, Lord Jesus, Come.
