Hiding In Shame Vs. Living In Freedom

What causes shame?
The very presence of shame implies a standard. A person may be ashamed of their clothing because they recognize the standard of attire within their society. A man may be ashamed of his hobbies because of the stigma attached to those hobbies. A person may be ashamed of his actions if those actions defy the public authorities. A man may be ashamed of his sin because he sees it in light of God's righteousness.
No one likes to be exposed when they don't meet the standards they recognize. That's why we are okay with wearing whatever we want around the house, but might not want to wearing the same thing in public. That's why students don't mind bragging about their passing C's among peers, but try to avoid showing the report card to Mom and Dad.
"Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed" (John 3:19-20).
However, it is possible for a standard to exist without being recognized. Either the person does not recognize its existence, or he does not recognize it as valid. That's why tourists continue to stick out like sore thumbs in other countries. This is not to say that all standards should be recognized. There are a lot of standards that are not worth recognizing or are optional. Take a look at a high school commons during lunch and you will see a plethora of standards represented, and many of them in contradiction to each other. One has to choose which standards he will recognize as important.
There is, however, one standard which stands valid over all people, whether or not they recognize it. God's righteousness is a standard we will all face one day. Like Jesus says in the Gospel of John, men don't want to be exposed in the light of that standard because it brings a sense of shame.
Shame is fear of judgment.
The standard makes us feel shame because we are afraid of being judged according to that standard. Shame is not the judgment itself (that is condemnation).
If we all recognized the standard of God's righteousness we would be ashamed, which is why we avoid it. That is why men prefer the darkness where they feel their actions are not exposed to the light of God's righteousness. That is why men avoid God.
But Jesus came (and we are in the season of celebrating his first coming even now) to free us of that shame so that we might come to God freely and unashamed. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law [the standard] of sin and death" (Romans 8:1-2).
This is the message of grace (a free gift that we did not deserve). We no longer have to live in hiding; in darkness. We don't have to live in a way that is followed by the phrase, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." We can live righteously so that what we do in secret would only bring us honor if spoken of in public.
Are we perfect? No, but as we live openly and honestly before God he works in our lives to make us more and more like him in regards to righteousness.
"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!" (Romans 6:1-2) We have been freed from that life of filth and slavery. Why would we want to return to it? And on top of that there is still the standard of God's righteousness to recon with.
It is true that as Christians we are no longer condemned for not meeting the standard, and so we may approach God freely and confidently. But there is another judgment:

By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation [the Gospel; the foundation of salvation]... But each one should be careful how he builds...If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones [righteous works; living in accordance with the Spirit], wood, hay or straw [plain or worthless works; living according to selfish desires], his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day [of judgment] will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames. (1 Corinthians 3:10-15)

Notice that Paul is talking about a person who has the Gospel and is saved. Yet, even we who are saved will be judged according to how we build on this Christian life. When it comes to those things we do simply because they aren't outright forbidden in the Bible, do we really want to wager that those things are "gold, silver," and "costly stones"?
Therefore, brothers, let us not continue to walk in darkness as people who should be ashamed before God of their unrighteous deeds. But let us walk in the light, where our deeds are exposed, and we may learn to live according to the grace Paul speaks of in his letter to Titus:

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. (2:11-13)

Come, Lord Jesus, Come.

Real Lies

"The heart is deceitful above all things... Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9).

I would like to expand upon my statement in my last post. I said, "I understand that emotions are dodgy things, and not to be entirely trusted, but they are the only reality we have experienced." First I would like to explain the fallaciousness of our emotions, then I will explain the reality within those same emotions.

I think Jeremiah explains things pretty well. The heart (the poetic seat of our emotions) is a liar. Because of our emotions we perceive things that aren't there. Emotions cause us to concoct grand explanations for behavior: for our own behavior (excuses) and for the behavior of others (gossip or conspiracy theories). Emotions filter our perception of the world, distorting and subverting reality leaving us with either a dream or a nightmare. Emotions cause us to love the imperfect, judge our peers and condemn the innocent. In short, emotions deceive us.

This is not to say that emotions are bad. I am not suggesting we go the rout of the Vulcans and purge our minds of all emotion. God created us with these emotions. Granted, they have been distorted by sin, but they can be redeemed through Christ and reshaped by the Holy Spirit. For now, however, they are broken, and we should be careful not to trust them too quickly.

That being said, there is a reality behind emotions. It is not necessarily a reality of Truth so much as it is a perceived reality. Just because feelings may produce ideas and perceptions of things that don't exist does not make the actual emotions any less real.
Emotions are real things, even if they aren't founded on reality.
I have worked at a camp for the last two summers, and when working with my campers on trust exercises and encouraging/supporting each other I tell them just that; emotions are real things. It doesn't matter if you Know that your friend is safe. If your friend Feels like he isn't safe, it's as frightening and dangerous in his mind as the real thing. You had better take the situation seriously, because he is not laughing, and he needs to be able to trust you.

On the flip side things that have no effect on our emotions what so ever can very easily be dismissed because it lacks the perception of reality. You can be inundated with the most powerful truth on earth--even the Gospel of Jesus Christ--and still miss the reality of its message if it does not affect your emotions in some way.
How we experience things through our emotional filter is the only representation we have of reality. That does not mean that our perceptions are reality (or truth). But the perceptions are real.
The tricky balance is then figuring out how to recognize and validate people's perceptions (including our own) without dumping truth out the window. This might be one of the reasons Christians are to live in community. With our various perspectives of God (as seen through the filter of scripture) perhaps we can help each other to have a more accurate perception of reality.

...Hi......

Humor me for a minute.
Today's discussion: Outgoing and Shy people and the ability of people to have deep and personal/intimate discussion.
Most people would agree that there are two kinds of people in our society: Outgoing people and Shy people. Let me be clear--I am not talking about introverts and extroverts. There are plenty of introverts who are outgoing, social people. And there are shy, withdrawn extroverts. I am talking about people who are more or less comfortable holding up a conversation in a social setting, and those who are more or less comfortable being a non-contributing member of the conversation (or better yet, sitting just outside the conversation).
I submit that we are all the most shy people in the world. Each and every one of us has a social equivalency to the most painfully shy person of all time. I don't want to go so far as to say the most reclusive person. There would have to be a whole different line of reasoning to support that claim, and I'm not ready for that. The kind of person I am describing is still someone who is out-and-about, but resistant to social interaction. That's the kind of person that each of us is like on a certain level.
I also submit that many of us (and perhaps most) have learned or are naturally adept in the skill of surface talk. Surface talk includes all kinds of useful, fun, engaging, pointless, and some times necessary information. Let me be clear: surface talk is a natural and necessary part of social life, and is not inherently bad.
When those of us shy people (as I hope you remember we all are) who are equipped to do so employ the skill of surface talk, we generate what I would like to call an external shell. This shell is how we present ourselves to the world. Granted, it does include more than just our social conversation. One's shell is made up of everything he does in public settings: how he walks, talks, eats, dresses, carries himself, his facial expressions, how he treats people. The shell is the public image.
For the sake of this discussion I will focus on the element of the shell that pertains only to conversation: surface talk.
What is surface talk? My concept of surface talk is defined by what it is not. Surface talk is not deep. It is not personal. It does not connect with what is really going on in the person's emotional center. You can have all kinds of meaningful and life changing conversations that stem from the mental (both logical and creative) and spiritual centers of your self, but unless those topics connect to your emotional center it is all surface talk. The reason is that how we feel (our emotional response or connection) toward something is what gives us our perception of that thing's value. If it has no emotional value (positive or negative), then it is as deep and personal as talking about the weather.
I understand that emotions are dodgy things, and not to be entirely trusted, but they are the only reality we have experienced. (I would love to explain my thoughts on this topic, but I don't want to get too sidetracked.)

What do we have so far? We are all shy people. Some of us have created a social image, but underneath that image is still the shy person. If it is the surface talk that creates the shell, then what is it that the shy person inside is keeping to himself? It is the deep, emotionally connected things that we are shy about.
I would like to point out that shy people are not mute. Shy people talk. Shy people can interact, and converse, and develop relationship with other people. It just takes time and a willingness to take a chance.
The issue is not that we never share those things which have an emotional connection for us. In all reality we each operate at different levels of sharing those things with others. Some are more comfortable than others with sharing. Some just have more experience--they have taken the risk and met with a favorable outcome. Others have taken the same risk and found only pain.

What's my point? Simply put, we aren't so different, you and I. We may interact with people differently. We may have different values. We may look different, talk different, and even treat people differently. But underneath the shell--whether it's a big, outgoing, firecracker of a shell, or a meek, church-mouse, barely above the surface shell--we have things that mean something to us, and that we hold close. We have pain, wounds, scars, and infections. We have dreams, desires, and loves. We have emotions--hidden or not--like fear, anger, confusion, hurt, and joy, comfort, longing and love.
We aren't so different. At a certain level we are all shy people who want to be known and loved, but fear being known and hurt.

"According To Their Needs"

How does one go about discovering the needs of others?
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)
Okay, that's great. I'd love to do that. I would love to live in community with others in a way that cares for their needs. The trouble I have is knowing what others need. I hardly know what I need most of the time.
Why not just ask? "What do you need right now?" That's always an option. The trouble with that--as I've encountered it--is that people don't know how to respond to that question. Even those people who would respond wholeheartedly may have trouble answering. I can't blame them, since I don't know how to answer.
You can spend time with a person. Spend enough time with them and you may gain some idea of where they are at and what they need at the moment. However, superficiality can get in the way. There are a lot of people who can talk your ear off without out saying a thing about themselves. There are even people who can talk about themselves all day long without saying anything of depth what so ever.
Then there is the issue of time. When is there time to interact with each person long enough to discover his/her needs?
This is something I'm going to have to work at for the rest of my life. It is reassuring to know that it will be worth it. I've experienced that before. But it's still going to be a lot of work. That is part of the sacrifice in loving people. It isn't just about what you give or give up. It is also the work and the thought that goes into caring for and loving people...according to their needs.

Motivation Vs. Action

Motivation: who needs it?
There is a lot of talk on a college campus about how motivated or unmotivated people feel at any given moment. "I've finally found my motivation in life," "This teacher is really motivating." Though more often than not it comes up in this context: "I just can't seem to get motivated to do this assignment," "Why can't I be more motivated," "I am so unmotivated right now."
I was talking with a friend the other day when she said something I hadn't thought about before. It was something along the lines of, "I just need to get motivated." The general response that came to mind was "why?" Who says that you need to be motivated in order to get something done, or even to start something. Who says that you can only work quickly, efficiently and enjoyably when motivated?
This term I have the fewest credits I have ever taken in a term of college. I never knew such a world existed; one in which there was time during the day to actually get things done, and there wasn't too much on your plate. It's incredible. I don't know what to do with myself...some times.
In these delightful pockets of time I have faced decisions. One of those decisions has been "work on homework now, or save it for later?" I can tell you there isn't a whole lot of motivation to cause me to start the homework right away. The assignment isn't due for two days. I have plenty of time to work on it later. Why not relax?
And yet, somehow I have repeatedly made the decision to start and complete my work well in advance. I have opted to use my free time to take care of those things that could have waited, but didn't need to wait.
This has caused me to think differently about motivation. Who says we need motivation? If we wait until we "get motivated" we'll never get anywhere. It's not about motivation, it's about decision. Just decide to act. Decide to live, to follow through, to take up the challenges set before you.
Taking action in spite of motivation--or lack-there-of--is nothing new. We've been doing this our whole lives. I'm simply talking about a perspective shift. We need to stop thinking in terms of motivated and unmotivated work. We need to start thinking in terms of recognizing, accepting and intentionally engaging the work laid out before us.
And think of this: James says we are to "consider it pure joy...when [we] face trials of many kinds" (1:2). There is a reason for every trial, every challenge that we face. Each one is a test. How are you going to approach them? No, they aren't easy and fun, and you may never feel motivated to keep going. However, "blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him" (James 1:12).
Make a decision. Take action, and know that you serve a God who stands by you and stands ready with your reward.

How Then Shall I Live?

It was hard...really hard. It was quite possibly one of the more difficult experiences of my life. At the same time it was one of the best experiences.
It's like James says: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). The trials and challenges are tests, and those tests do two things.
First the trials reveal things in myself that I otherwise might not notice. On the one hand it reveals things in myself that still need some work; issues concerning my attitude, my personality, my lifestyle, my perspectives. On the other hand trials can also reveal areas of growth in my life. Those are the most encouraging times, when I'm able to see in myself how God has changed the way I respond to situations; when I respond with more patience, confidence, faithfulness.
The second thing that trials do is to further develop perseverance and other such qualities. So much growth comes from being faithful in times of trial.
All that to say, with all the challenges I faced this summer, and all the growth and change that has taken place in me, how should I live differently? What new challenges should I be pursuing?
I look forward, with fear and trembling, to seeing what God has for me this school year.
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." Psalm 68:19

Thank you all for your prayers.

Crazy Days

I never thought that retreat week would be so...interesting.
The first half of this last week the summer staff girls go on retreat while the guys work around camp. It also just so happens that this is the week we have a christian camp for the deaf on campus. They are really wonderful people, and it is neat seeing how they interact with each other. Where it gets crazy is when I'm lifeguarding at the waterfront and they start signing to each other what they are about to do and I have no way of knowing if I should put a stop to it or not. The situation is rather humorous, but also a little unnerving.
The second half of the week the guys go on retreat--meeting up with the girls for one day in the middle of the week. I went into this retreat realizing that I needed to take some time to process some things, and intending to take some time away from the group to do that. Taking that time was easy enough because I was one of the only people awake for the first couple hours each morning.
We were able to use the time well; just being together as guys. We even invented a game using everlasting gobstoppers and a circular table with a lip around the edge.
The week was also a great opportunity for me to connect with a number of the summer staffers. God is doing a lot of great things in our community. And at the same time there are still some areas where we have some learning and growing to do.
OH! Some time you should ask me what happened on the drive up to retreat. Thank God for doughnuts.
Right now I'm on the mend from a fever yesterday. I was out of commission the whole day, and today I'm slowly rebuilding my energy. This week ahead of me is day camp. I won't have any campers because I am a "waterfront specialist", which means I work with all the kids throughout the week. It will be a different side of camp, and I'm looking forward to that.
Keep us in your prayers. Thanks.

Midway Checkpoint

I survived the first two weeks of counseling. I would love to be able to say that both weeks my cabin was filled with a bunch of heathens who didn't know anything about God, and over the week I showed them how much God loves them and saw them accept God's gift of salvation which was promptly followed by drastic changes in their lives. Fact of the matter is most of the kids in my cabin already knew and believed in Jesus, yet they still didn't get along with each other, and the only change that came of the week was the depth of their frustration with each other--it deepened with each passing day. I have no idea what God will do with what happened for them this week. I just pray that something got through to them.
As I drew closer to the end of this last week and began to realize that both weeks my cabin essentially had the same problem, and neither week did the problem really become resolved I started to develop some doubts in myself. I started thinking, "maybe I didn't respond in the way I should have. Maybe I didn't meet the challenge, but instead only endured it. Were these two weeks of any value? Have I accomplished anything?"
These thoughts can easily become discouraging and cause me to doubt my value in this ministry. I have to remind myself that I did everything I could, and I cared for them well, and I never stopped loving each of them. Continually I pursued God and his guidance and help. Surely he can take the meager fruit of this last week and nurture it into succulent morsels.
Now I'm looking at the ending of the summer. Half of this week I will be on summer staff retreat. I would like to use that time well; to process a lot of things that have happened over the summer so far. It's taken me this long to realize that I am not capable of processing things in my head. This means that the next week will likely involve a lot of journaling and conversations (Some of those conversations will be with myself, so hopefully people don't see me and think I'm a crazy person...oh well).
We have day camp coming up next week. That will take a lot of focus, energy and patience as I'm dealing with small children who can think of nothing but the next snack time. After day camp comes our high school camp. I'm really looking forward to that last camp. Although, I am concerned that my cabin will continue the theme of my last two cabins--internal conflict.
Please pray that this week I will get the rest and the processing that I need, that I will continue to seek God personally, and that my cabins in the weeks to come will be more collaborative than the ones in the past. Also continue to pray for my campers as they are maybe processing their experiences at camp these last two weeks. God is not done with them yet.
Thank you for your prayers, and God bless.

A Workman Aproved, That Is The Goal

The summer staff girls have been counseling for girls camp this week, which makes this "Man week" in the summer staff living area. It has been good, having a chance for the guys to come together away from the girls. At the same time it has been weird not having the girls around; the group doesn't feel complete.
Next week we start our middle school camp, which means that we will all be counseling. I am both excited and a little scared. Who knows what challenges this next week could bring.
As for the week at hand, It has been a lot of work for me. Literally, I have had the longest work days since band camp Saturdays (you should ask about those some time). But the real difficulty of this last week has been keeping a good attitude through the long days and all the little things that come up. As each new thing has been asked of me I've had to make a conscious decision to act immediately and positively. Those decisions can be especially hard when selfish thoughts begin to creep into my head. "You've got a long day ahead of you. Let someone else do it." "You've been working hard. Why not wait for someone else to take care of this?" And the most dangerous thought of all: "If only I didn't have to do this right now..."
Thank God, he continues to give me joy and energy in my work, and little encouraging blessings along the way. He reminds me always of two things: It's not about me, and he is my strength and my life. If this were about me, I could hold all kinds of complaints about this and that and the other thing. If this were about me, I could ask more of this and accept less of that. If this were about me, I could serve how I want to serve, and rest how I want to rest. But it's not about me. I didn't come here to work for me and my gain. I came here to serve God as he would have me serve. This isn't about me.
At the same time, God has, is and will always provide for me as I need--not necessarily as I want. God will bring about his justice--which is righteous and complete. This is a theme I continue to encounter as I've been working through the Psalms. It may not happen in my time or as I would wish it, but justice will prevail. The question is, when God enacts his justice will I be placed under his punishing hand or will I be held in his rewarding arms? Will I be marked as one disobedient to his father, or crowned as a faithful child of the king?
I want to be faithful and obedient, but it takes a lot of work, and patience, and humility, and reliance on God.
Please pray for me. And pray for my campers these next two weeks (Tween camp and Boys camp). Thanks.

Illness, Injury, And The Only Cure

How do I describe the week I just had?
It was so good, and so intense, and so sad, and so challenging. "So" isn't a very descriptive word.
I am in a very good place. God has worked on my attitude and given me great joy in the most mundane and previously innocuous tasks. Life is just better when it is filled with God's joy and pleasure in serving him.
The main challenge of this week came in the form of others' observations. It was brought to my attention by three different sources that there is a bug going through our community. This bug is a disease that effects our attitudes and out efforts. The first two notices intrigued me, but the third gave me cause for great concern and sent me straight to scripture to seek out the truth of the matter. The questions that were on my heart were these:
"Does something need to be said to this community?"
"Am I the one who needs to say it?"
"What needs to be said, and when?"
As of yet it has not been my place to address the community. However, since that day people have already begun to speak to the community pieces of what I found in my search. It has been very encouraging. And the words that I found have been shaping my attitude as I approach my own work, so even if I am not to address the community myself, I don't consider my efforts to be wasted.
Right now I am praying and waiting to see if and how the community is effected by what has been said. Who knows if I may yet be called to speak? I pray that God will give me wisdom in that, and love enough to speak truth where it is needed. I also pray that God will continue to work on my own heart and attitude so that I may be a light in the world and an ambassador of his truth.
Things are happening here; both frightening and wonderful things. If we can work together in unity and love--as God's body is intended to do--we can accomplish a great deal this summer, and in the years to come.
If, however, we allow the enemy to divide us and spoil our attitudes, we can only hope that God will redeem the mess that is created. Even so, we will lose so much in the opportunities God has given us this summer.
Only the Spirit of God can create in us such unity. Only the Spirit of God--which produces in us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control--can teach us how to live well together in community. May his Spirit fill us each day.
Please pray for us, and continue praying for me.

Blessings And Battles

Week three:
Sunday was a huge surprise for me. After working all afternoon I was given an unexpected challenge. One of the counselors for the camp this week didn't show up, and they asked me to fill in for one night until they could get a replacement. It wasn't the relaxing evening I had in mind. However, it was exactly the evening God had in mind for me.
After spending at least a week of summer staff feeling worn out and drained I never would have thought that a night of watching middle schoolers was exactly what I needed. But, oddly enough, the next morning I felt wonderfully rejuvenated. The days that followed were all equally energized. God is so good...even if he does provide in strange ways.
This last week has been full of beautiful, painful and exciting moments in our community. We have been able to support each other, challenge each other and grow with each other. I know that I am playing a good part in this community, but I continue to wonder if there is something that I am missing. Is it enough to be there for people; to support and encourage and provide what I can when it's needed? Or do I need to be more actively pursuing people's needs?
I need God's grace so much. The more and more I pursue him and desire to follow him, the more I realize just how much I need him. I need his grace. I need his love. I need his joy.
Lord help me?

Following To Lead

We're finally into the swing of things here on twin rocks summer staff. We've almost finished our first work week. It is really different being on lifeguard duty. Because of the weather it is mostly just standing around watching a few people paddle around in canoes. So far I haven't had to jump in and rescue anyone. That's a good thing.
During all my maintenance work time I've been helping one of the head facilities guys build a storage shed for the archery equipment. I've never seen myself as much of a wood worker/builder person because I've had too many of those projects in the past turn out...poorly. However, this project has been very enjoyable, and it's coming along great; it looks amazing.
My evenings have been pretty busy the last few days preparing for a worship service we had Tuesday evening. It was really neat to see God work in and through my accountability group (which was responsible for the service) both in the planning and implementation of the service. I had my concerns at the beginning of the process, but God quickly worked to iron those out.
It will be nice to have my evenings back--now that the service is over--so that I can focus more on developing relationships with the other summer staff.
In the last few days I've been told by several people how others in the summer staff look up to me, or whatever. I only mention this because it is a truly frightening and humbling thing. If others are looking to me and my example, then that example needs to be directing them to Christ. How is that possible if I am not seeking and following Christ? That means that the most important element in my relationships with others is my relationship with God. It can be easy to lose sight of that, and it can be hard to know exactly how to pursue that.
So that is what I need--to be faithfully pursuing and enjoying my relationship with God, and following Christ's example. Please pray for me.
God bless.

Living In Community

I have just completed the orientation week of Twin Rocks Friends Camp Summer Staff 2010. It has been an incredible week filled with fun games, great conversations, and new and renewed friendships. The sense of community so far gives me great hope for the summer ahead of us. Each individual has demonstrated such a deep love of Christ and attitude of service toward others that it cannot be questioned that I am among family.
Even so, I have encountered a few struggles this week. The most prevalent is the lack of energy I'm experiencing. I would like to chalk it all up to lack of sleep and hard days, but most of our time has been spent sitting in orientation classes. Perhaps this is only a passing phase as I adjust to summer staff life, but either way I'm going to need a great heap of God's strength and grace to continue the summer while living in community well.
The other thing that I'm struggling with is the danger of living in community. Although so much good has been demonstrated in the last week, there is always potential in people to hurt each other. We talk a lot here about making sure that this is a safe community for people to live in and share, but the fact of the matter is that there is always some danger. This danger should in no way keep us from loving each other and allowing others to love us, but it can be a formidable block to the kind of community we are trying to form.
Fear can override almost any intentions. The only way to combat fear is with love. "Perfect love casts out fear." So along with God's strength and grace I need God's love. "We love because He first loved us." He is the author and initiator of love. Without his love I can do nothing good.
This summer holds great hope and promise, but only if we continue this summer holding tightly to the unifying arms of God. Your prayers would be much appreciated.
God bless.

Facing The Challenge

I can't remember whether or not I ever told you what I did last summer. I worked on summer staff at a christian camp on the Oregon coast. It was me and 15 other college students living, working and growing together in an encouraging and challenging community. We worked hard, we counseled selflessly and we loved and were loved overwhelmingly. There is so much I could say about that summer, but the reason I say this now is not to reminisce.
I am going back this summer. In fact I'm going back in just a few days for another three months of hard, intense, challenging and good community. I've been preparing for this for the last few months--in some ways for the last year. I've been convincing myself that it is going to be very different from last year--which is exactly right. I've also been convincing myself that it is going to be a tremendous challenge in many different ways--and I'm sure it will. And I've been praying that God will continue to prepare me for the things he has in store for me this summer--which I'm sure he has.
There is one thing I thought of this evening that I haven't done. I haven't asked God for specific challenges, for specific ways I would like to grow this summer. I've just assumed that stuff will come up--and I'm sure stuff will. However, there are some areas in my life that I know can use some work, so why not ask him to work on those areas in particular?
For a good chunk of my life I have been of the attitude that God will present me with opportunities for growth as he sees fit. Some times that meant sticking with classes or teachers that I was given even when I didn't think it would be possible for me to succeed. Other times it meant accepting opportunities that I knew God wanted me to pursue even though they frightened me. Time after time God has pushed me further and further out beyond my comfort zone, and with very little direction from me. It's a fine way to live, and it has worked well for us so far.
But what would happen if I recognized an area in my life that needed growth and actually asked God to challenge me in that area? That's a scary thought...because he just might answer.
Let's continue this thought, because even in scripture God doesn't give us challenge without encouragement.
Challenge means discomfort; it means unfamiliar territory. What happens if I get there and I'm not ready? What happens if I respond wrong? What happens if I don't know what to do?
Ah, but that's the beauty of God's work. "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." More than that, "it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."
It is the same God who has created us "in Christ Jesus to do good works, which [He] prepared in advance for us to do." This is the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. The God who brought his people, Israel, up out of Egypt; Who parted the sea so that his people could walk on dry land; who guided the same stubborn people through the dessert for forty years, providing for them in the wastelands. This is the same God who went to all the trouble of redeeming lost and wicked people through the sacrifice of his son. This is the same God who worked through fishermen and Pharisees; who turned a murderer into an apostle. The same God who has continued throughout history to take the most minuscule faith of the most simple people and honor it with his full power and provision.
If I can't trust the plans and challenges of that God, who can I trust? He is the only one who can give me just the kind of challenge I need, AND will always give me exactly what I need to grow through that challenge. He has proven it to me time and time again.
Things will still be rough, and I might even fail...at least to a degree. The trick is to turn to him, and if necessary confess my failure, because "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." And then continue forward remembering and learning from past mistakes.
What have I got to lose? "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Jesus Loves Me...And He Loves You Too

The pictures are about as random as the music, but it's all original (with the exception of the images that have text over them).

"Let's See What You Can Do With This"

These are the words that went through my mind when I flipped my calendar over to April. I keep all my assignments for the term on my calendar, and April--much like the final month of every other term of school--has a lot of ink on it. It can be very easy for me to look at these next four weeks and think "there's no way. There is no physical possibility of accomplishing all of this in time without some damage to myself physically, mentally or academically. It's just not possible." Those are the thoughts that have filled my mind in the past, and they continue to revisit me every so often.
Such thoughts are not encouraging, which is why I am grateful for the thought that usually follows; "Some how God brought you through the same thing last term...and the term before that, and every other time before that, so there must be some way he can get you through this." This is a much more uplifting thought, but for some reason it doesn't make it automatically easy for me to face the challenge. I still have to take the first step forward into the unknown. It's scary. I know everything will be okay, but that doesn't mean it isn't going to be hard or that it will end the way I think it should.
So I have a choice: I can freak out, give in, and quit, OR I can keep going, trusting that no matter what God decides to do it will be for the best.
Thankfully God has created me to at least be sensible, if not trusting. Frankly, I don't have any better ideas or solutions, so I might as well keep going to the end.
All of this thought process boils down to a simple passing prayer that I have come to appreciate: "Let's see what you can do with this."
It's just a simple way of saying, "this is the mess I'm in. This is all I have to offer. You've done incredible things with far less. I look forward to seeing what masterpiece you make with this pile of rubble."
It sets up a sense of active observance and anticipation. God will do SOMETHING. I want to see how he does it. It carries a sense of determination to pursue the task, and submission toward the one who can accomplish the task. It is bold action in times of uncertainty. It is humble acquiescence in times of familiarity and pride. It is admitting that God is God, and I am not.
I only pray that this attitude would become a defining element of every aspect of my life.
Let's see what he can do with this.

The Sin of Silence

Okay, I have something to say.
I want to be a teacher. I mean, that is what I really want to do with my life.
I don't care about teaching music. I don't care about teaching math, or English, or...any of that stuff.
I want to teach people how to live. I really want to teach young people, but it wouldn't bother me if I was teaching your grandmother. I want to teach people how to live a full and blessed life. I don't care how young or old; I don't care how much time the person has left on this earth. I want to teach people the challenges and joys of living true life.
I don't want to be the next Joel Osteen. This isn't about telling people how to live a peachy-keen life. I want to teach people how to live well the life they have.
There's just one problem (I should say at least one)--I'm a coward.
Some times I have a hard time addressing an apparent issue with a friend. How am I supposed to live as an example to hundreds of acquaintances and thousands of strangers? I don't know how to start meaningful conversations with people who have the same core values as I do. How am I supposed to engage the interests of people with whom I can't relate?
Even when I know what I need to say, I hold back wondering, "is this the right time? How will they respond? Am I practicing what I'm about to preach?"
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins" (James 4:17)
As if that weren't enough, God makes it clear what kind of work he does in contrast to the work of the flesh: "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7). If I truly love the people I interact with--if God's loving spirit is at work in me--it would make sense for me to act boldly, not timidly. Jesus told his disciples that when they were going to be challenged for their faith they need not worry about what they would say in their defense. Instead they were to trust that the Holy Spirit would give them the words to speak when the time came (Matt. 10:19, Mark 13:11, Luke 12:11, 21:14). Granted, I'm not being persecuted and put on trial for my faith.
Fear is what holds me back; fear of not being accepted, fear of being mocked, fear of being challenged, fear of being WRONG.
But I want to be a teacher.
Trouble is, "not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly" (James 3:1).
It's too late for me. I cannot escape the fact that I WILL BE A TEACHER. I must; that is the passion that God put in me.
The question now is this:
Will I cower in fear of the potential ridicule and chiding of this world,
OR
Will I continue boldly, fearing only the certain judgment that awaits my cowardice?