How does one go about discovering the needs of others?
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)
Okay, that's great. I'd love to do that. I would love to live in community with others in a way that cares for their needs. The trouble I have is knowing what others need. I hardly know what I need most of the time.
Why not just ask? "What do you need right now?" That's always an option. The trouble with that--as I've encountered it--is that people don't know how to respond to that question. Even those people who would respond wholeheartedly may have trouble answering. I can't blame them, since I don't know how to answer.
You can spend time with a person. Spend enough time with them and you may gain some idea of where they are at and what they need at the moment. However, superficiality can get in the way. There are a lot of people who can talk your ear off without out saying a thing about themselves. There are even people who can talk about themselves all day long without saying anything of depth what so ever.
Then there is the issue of time. When is there time to interact with each person long enough to discover his/her needs?
This is something I'm going to have to work at for the rest of my life. It is reassuring to know that it will be worth it. I've experienced that before. But it's still going to be a lot of work. That is part of the sacrifice in loving people. It isn't just about what you give or give up. It is also the work and the thought that goes into caring for and loving people...according to their needs.
