Living In Community

I have just completed the orientation week of Twin Rocks Friends Camp Summer Staff 2010. It has been an incredible week filled with fun games, great conversations, and new and renewed friendships. The sense of community so far gives me great hope for the summer ahead of us. Each individual has demonstrated such a deep love of Christ and attitude of service toward others that it cannot be questioned that I am among family.
Even so, I have encountered a few struggles this week. The most prevalent is the lack of energy I'm experiencing. I would like to chalk it all up to lack of sleep and hard days, but most of our time has been spent sitting in orientation classes. Perhaps this is only a passing phase as I adjust to summer staff life, but either way I'm going to need a great heap of God's strength and grace to continue the summer while living in community well.
The other thing that I'm struggling with is the danger of living in community. Although so much good has been demonstrated in the last week, there is always potential in people to hurt each other. We talk a lot here about making sure that this is a safe community for people to live in and share, but the fact of the matter is that there is always some danger. This danger should in no way keep us from loving each other and allowing others to love us, but it can be a formidable block to the kind of community we are trying to form.
Fear can override almost any intentions. The only way to combat fear is with love. "Perfect love casts out fear." So along with God's strength and grace I need God's love. "We love because He first loved us." He is the author and initiator of love. Without his love I can do nothing good.
This summer holds great hope and promise, but only if we continue this summer holding tightly to the unifying arms of God. Your prayers would be much appreciated.
God bless.

Facing The Challenge

I can't remember whether or not I ever told you what I did last summer. I worked on summer staff at a christian camp on the Oregon coast. It was me and 15 other college students living, working and growing together in an encouraging and challenging community. We worked hard, we counseled selflessly and we loved and were loved overwhelmingly. There is so much I could say about that summer, but the reason I say this now is not to reminisce.
I am going back this summer. In fact I'm going back in just a few days for another three months of hard, intense, challenging and good community. I've been preparing for this for the last few months--in some ways for the last year. I've been convincing myself that it is going to be very different from last year--which is exactly right. I've also been convincing myself that it is going to be a tremendous challenge in many different ways--and I'm sure it will. And I've been praying that God will continue to prepare me for the things he has in store for me this summer--which I'm sure he has.
There is one thing I thought of this evening that I haven't done. I haven't asked God for specific challenges, for specific ways I would like to grow this summer. I've just assumed that stuff will come up--and I'm sure stuff will. However, there are some areas in my life that I know can use some work, so why not ask him to work on those areas in particular?
For a good chunk of my life I have been of the attitude that God will present me with opportunities for growth as he sees fit. Some times that meant sticking with classes or teachers that I was given even when I didn't think it would be possible for me to succeed. Other times it meant accepting opportunities that I knew God wanted me to pursue even though they frightened me. Time after time God has pushed me further and further out beyond my comfort zone, and with very little direction from me. It's a fine way to live, and it has worked well for us so far.
But what would happen if I recognized an area in my life that needed growth and actually asked God to challenge me in that area? That's a scary thought...because he just might answer.
Let's continue this thought, because even in scripture God doesn't give us challenge without encouragement.
Challenge means discomfort; it means unfamiliar territory. What happens if I get there and I'm not ready? What happens if I respond wrong? What happens if I don't know what to do?
Ah, but that's the beauty of God's work. "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." More than that, "it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."
It is the same God who has created us "in Christ Jesus to do good works, which [He] prepared in advance for us to do." This is the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. The God who brought his people, Israel, up out of Egypt; Who parted the sea so that his people could walk on dry land; who guided the same stubborn people through the dessert for forty years, providing for them in the wastelands. This is the same God who went to all the trouble of redeeming lost and wicked people through the sacrifice of his son. This is the same God who worked through fishermen and Pharisees; who turned a murderer into an apostle. The same God who has continued throughout history to take the most minuscule faith of the most simple people and honor it with his full power and provision.
If I can't trust the plans and challenges of that God, who can I trust? He is the only one who can give me just the kind of challenge I need, AND will always give me exactly what I need to grow through that challenge. He has proven it to me time and time again.
Things will still be rough, and I might even fail...at least to a degree. The trick is to turn to him, and if necessary confess my failure, because "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." And then continue forward remembering and learning from past mistakes.
What have I got to lose? "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Jesus Loves Me...And He Loves You Too

The pictures are about as random as the music, but it's all original (with the exception of the images that have text over them).

"Let's See What You Can Do With This"

These are the words that went through my mind when I flipped my calendar over to April. I keep all my assignments for the term on my calendar, and April--much like the final month of every other term of school--has a lot of ink on it. It can be very easy for me to look at these next four weeks and think "there's no way. There is no physical possibility of accomplishing all of this in time without some damage to myself physically, mentally or academically. It's just not possible." Those are the thoughts that have filled my mind in the past, and they continue to revisit me every so often.
Such thoughts are not encouraging, which is why I am grateful for the thought that usually follows; "Some how God brought you through the same thing last term...and the term before that, and every other time before that, so there must be some way he can get you through this." This is a much more uplifting thought, but for some reason it doesn't make it automatically easy for me to face the challenge. I still have to take the first step forward into the unknown. It's scary. I know everything will be okay, but that doesn't mean it isn't going to be hard or that it will end the way I think it should.
So I have a choice: I can freak out, give in, and quit, OR I can keep going, trusting that no matter what God decides to do it will be for the best.
Thankfully God has created me to at least be sensible, if not trusting. Frankly, I don't have any better ideas or solutions, so I might as well keep going to the end.
All of this thought process boils down to a simple passing prayer that I have come to appreciate: "Let's see what you can do with this."
It's just a simple way of saying, "this is the mess I'm in. This is all I have to offer. You've done incredible things with far less. I look forward to seeing what masterpiece you make with this pile of rubble."
It sets up a sense of active observance and anticipation. God will do SOMETHING. I want to see how he does it. It carries a sense of determination to pursue the task, and submission toward the one who can accomplish the task. It is bold action in times of uncertainty. It is humble acquiescence in times of familiarity and pride. It is admitting that God is God, and I am not.
I only pray that this attitude would become a defining element of every aspect of my life.
Let's see what he can do with this.

The Sin of Silence

Okay, I have something to say.
I want to be a teacher. I mean, that is what I really want to do with my life.
I don't care about teaching music. I don't care about teaching math, or English, or...any of that stuff.
I want to teach people how to live. I really want to teach young people, but it wouldn't bother me if I was teaching your grandmother. I want to teach people how to live a full and blessed life. I don't care how young or old; I don't care how much time the person has left on this earth. I want to teach people the challenges and joys of living true life.
I don't want to be the next Joel Osteen. This isn't about telling people how to live a peachy-keen life. I want to teach people how to live well the life they have.
There's just one problem (I should say at least one)--I'm a coward.
Some times I have a hard time addressing an apparent issue with a friend. How am I supposed to live as an example to hundreds of acquaintances and thousands of strangers? I don't know how to start meaningful conversations with people who have the same core values as I do. How am I supposed to engage the interests of people with whom I can't relate?
Even when I know what I need to say, I hold back wondering, "is this the right time? How will they respond? Am I practicing what I'm about to preach?"
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins" (James 4:17)
As if that weren't enough, God makes it clear what kind of work he does in contrast to the work of the flesh: "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7). If I truly love the people I interact with--if God's loving spirit is at work in me--it would make sense for me to act boldly, not timidly. Jesus told his disciples that when they were going to be challenged for their faith they need not worry about what they would say in their defense. Instead they were to trust that the Holy Spirit would give them the words to speak when the time came (Matt. 10:19, Mark 13:11, Luke 12:11, 21:14). Granted, I'm not being persecuted and put on trial for my faith.
Fear is what holds me back; fear of not being accepted, fear of being mocked, fear of being challenged, fear of being WRONG.
But I want to be a teacher.
Trouble is, "not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly" (James 3:1).
It's too late for me. I cannot escape the fact that I WILL BE A TEACHER. I must; that is the passion that God put in me.
The question now is this:
Will I cower in fear of the potential ridicule and chiding of this world,
OR
Will I continue boldly, fearing only the certain judgment that awaits my cowardice?

Tidings Of Great Joy For ALL People--Even The Bad Ones

I was sitting in a church service today as the pastor was talking about the freshness and life his father would try to bring to Christmas every year. Suddenly I started thinking about my future family (Lord willing) and how I would instill in my children an earnest understanding and appreciation for Christmas. What is it I want them to learn? What is important, and how do the various elements of Christmas relate? What do the trappings have to do with Christ, and how will I relate those values to my kids?
My first thought was classic: we give gifts to others as a way of remembering God's gift to us--eternal life through Jesus Christ. We give gifts to show people that we love them. My beef with such occasions has always been a developed misunderstanding that such gifts are earned or inherently deserved. Is that the kind of gift we are commemorating at Christmas?
That's when it hit me. Kid's are not just allowed to believe that they deserve gifts, they are taught to believe they deserve gifts. When we talk about Santa Clause, what do we say he puts in the stockings of "naughty" children? Coal! Bad kids are not deserving of toys and candy and such. And how many of you parents have threatened your children with "no presents for Christmas if you don't behave"? Gifts are earned, not given out of an unquenchable love.
Is that the kind of gift God gave us?
The answer is emphatically "NO!" Do you know what we were like when Jesus came? Do you know how we behaved, or more accurately, misbehaved?
We were despicable in our arrogance and our pride. We were filthy in our lies, lusts and licentious acts. We not only lived for ourselves, we lived in complete rebellion and hatred toward God.
Would you give that child a present on Christmas morning? Would you give him the greatest and most precious thing in your possession?
God did.
Don't get me wrong. Love also disciplines when it is needed. If it did not, it would not be very loving. God's gift to us was the best thing for us even and especially in our rebellious state. I don't know that many of us could say the same thing of those colorfully wrapped presents under the tree. There is a difference between God's gift and our's.
But before you start throwing around those often empty Christmas threats, let's think about what we are trying to do. If in our gift giving we are trying to demonstrate God's complete, perfect and unchanging love for us--in spite of ourselves, and our similarly unconditional love for our children, family and friends, then how do we demonstrate that through our actions and our words? I'm not saying this is always the answer, but perhaps sometimes it means giving the most rotten and rude person the greatest gift they have ever received.
Think about it.
And ask yourself: What do you think you really deserve?

The Blinding Darkness

The days do wane like the shaving of the moon.
That luminary which holds its glow full bright
Does so shortly surrender to the darkness of night.
While voices in obscurity do cry "So soon?"

Hmm...I don't know what I think of the meter.

I am most-ways ashamed that I did not make a single post in the month of October. But that is as is and as cannot be undone.
There is a light on the horizon. There is a dark and frightening shadow between here and there, but I do see a light. In truth there has always been a light. That light, however, stood seemingly far off--though no one knows how near it may be. Now, lest that farther light prove to come before, I at least have a closer light to look forward to.
One must be cautious in what dim auroras one places his hopes. It is in many ways better to consider such dull sparkles to be lighter darknessess than to seek them in place of the eternal brilliance--where in we find true hope.
At the same time no where are we told that we should not enjoy the good and simple pleasures which we are given. We know these good and perfect gifts do come because we are told that they come and from whom them come. For that reason I will look forward to and enjoy those little gifts while keeping my bright, shining and future home full in mind.