I'm Not All Here

Some things can't fit in boxes.
Clothes, lamps and kitchen supplies...can fit in a box.
Three years of school books and homework...can fit in a box.
Pictures, postcards and other paraphernalia...can fit in a box.
Memories, experiences and relationships...cannot fit in a box.
Emotions, growth and personality...cannot fit in a box.
I recently tried to pack up my entire life and move it to another location, but I could not make it all fit. I was able to load just about everything of mine that I could see, but a few intangibles had to be left behind. Some because they were attached to things I could not take. Others because they simply would not fit in this other world.
My school is not physically very far from my home. It is actually relatively close. It is, however, psychologically and sociologically worlds away from my home town. The two are very different places. What is experienced in one place cannot be easily communicated to the other, so it must be left behind...usually.
Living this way soon becomes rather frustrating. When I first left home I was a particular person. I believed a certain way, I thought a certain way and I acted a certain way. While I was away I maintained--and even developed--some foundational elements of who I was, yet much also changed. I grew; I developed; I adapted; I became more than I was when I left. Upon return, however, it was clear that who I had become was not easily understood.
Back at home I am treated much as I was before, and why not? I am still the same person: Loving son, considerate brother and caring friend. In fact in some ways I am even more these things than before. But even in view of all the things I still am there are a few things that I am not--at least not in the way I was before.
I am not an immature, rambunctious teenager. I am not an ignorant and socially incompetent homeschooler. I am not dependent on others to take care of me and give me direction.
This is not to say that I "have arrived." I'm not saying that I know everything there is to know and understand all. I am only saying that I understand much more than I did, and I am better for it. I have grown so much over the last three years, but I had a hard time fitting it all in my parents' trunk. I will only be home for a little while, and there is no way that home can grow to understand who I am in such a short time.
For this reason I will have to wait until I have enough time to make some return trips for those things I left behind. I can only bring back what this world can hold, so I left a part of myself behind. It just wouldn't fit in the box.