Ode To Old Friends

I just realized something about myself. I see myself as the kind of person who is very relationship oriented. I can do the hermit/loner thing to an extent, but I truly have a need for good and honest friends. Now when I say friends I don't mean it by the definition some people use (just cause I know your name does not mean you are my friend--that's called an acquaintance). I need people who I feel I can be around without being fake; people who I feel comfortable being myself around; people I can be open and honest with; people who speak into my life, and whose lives I can speak into. I focus a good chunk of my life on these relationships. This is a big part of how I live.
So, you'd think that with all the changes that have occurred in my life in the last few years--changes in relationships, locations of residence, and all that good stuff--that I would be thrown through a loop about all these relationships I've lost, or that have diminished, and with all these new ones I have started working on--knowing that they won't last long either in the big picture. You'd think that I would be really put off by it...At least I would. I'm looking at it right now, and I'm thinking 'why am I not more upset about all this? Why doesn't this bother me any more than it does?'. I could reason it with the stoickness of my personality . I don't get really emotional very often. But why is that? If relationships are such a huge part of my life, why don't I become more emotional about the whole thing. I care about these people and these relationships. I still think about relationships that I had when I was in grade school.
Now the relationships are deeper and more meaningful. So, why am I not bothered all that much by just uprooting myself from my home of half my life and moving the farthest away from that home I've ever lived for the next four years? Admittedly, it has bothered me a little, and I've spent a little time pouring out my heart to God over the matter. But then it's 'back to business', and working on those new relationships.
So maybe this is a better question: Why would I spend any more time than I already have wallowing over the fact that those old connections are gone--at least for a time, though most of them indefinitely (until heaven, that is)? I have spent my time in mourning over my displacement from my friends. But if I spend any more time I would miss all of the opportunities I have to meet new people, and to go beyond my small town acquaintances.
There was a time when God blessed me with a group of friends to be around, and to grow with. That was a blessing; a gift. He could just as easily allowed me to continue my life in solitude (though that's a hard concept for me to grasp, having grown up with five siblings). He could have said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you. You don't need other people; you have me, and that's all you need.' And he did do that for a short time. He was under no obligation to provide friends for me. But, He saw that it was a good thing for me to have others to talk with, and to grow with, and to learn from, and to teach. He saw that it was good...For a time.
That time has ended, He has seen fit for me to move on from those relationships. It is now no longer profitable for His kingdom that I should continue to be as actively connected with those people. And, so, He has repositioned me, and given me new friends to learn from, and to grow with, and to teach. He has placed me here for a reason, and he will do great things through this.
All this is not to say that I will completely avoid all contact with my friends back home. In fact, I still email and IM (Instant Messenger) all my closest friends so as to stay in touch. But to continually look back and say, 'Why, why have you taken all these good things from me, O Lord?' That would be foolish when the answer is right in front of me: 'Because I have found better things for you, just as I have found better things for them. They are not your concern; they are mine. You serve me, here, now. This is what is good.'