Garbage Dump

I would like to take this moment to establish the fact that I am not completely, though entirely, insane. Thank you.
Yeah, I'm not sure what it means either.
Let's see what's in the news.
City boy learns that one man's garbage really is another man's gold. It seems that while young Alex Douglas was playing with a few of his friends in the ally behind his New York apartment, where he lives with his mother and 5-year old sister, he happened upon a solid gold book end. The owner of the high price paper-weight claims that he didn't realize this nick-knack was of any real value. He simply assumed that since it's matching counterpart was no where to be found, there was no point in keeping the piece of junk around. "When I found it among my wife's things in the attic" recalls the 73-year old widower Hank Schoune "I figured it was just as much useless junk as the rest of her things. She was a terrible pack-rat, don't you know. She kept every little trinket she came by."
As far as the fate of the bookend is concerned, Hank has decided that Whiteney Douglas--Alex's mother--probably has more need of such a thing. "I've lived this long without needing too much money" explains a very relaxed and content Mr. Schoune. "I don't see how I could just up and change how I've always lived after so long."

The events and people described above are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is only coincidence.