Honk If You Can Understand This Post

I would like to take this time to try to explain a phenomenon that I have encountered in the last couple years. It is by no means a new phenomenon to the human race. I'm sure many have encountered it before me. But at the same time, there are probably at least a few who have never come across it.

I'm not quite sure what to call it at this point. Perhaps that will change by the end of this post.
It all has to do with movement. Not simply moving an arm, or moving your head. Rather moving your whole body to a completely different area (i.e. from my home town to Salem). New location, new atmosphere, new responsibilities, new people. In essence a completely different life. And that's basically the premise behind this phenomenon; a different life.

Let me start from the beginning.

Phase One: Development.
I grew up in one general area. I made lots of friends as well as thousands of memories. Under such circumstances one tends to adopt a particular way of life; a pattern if you will. This becomes the norm. Some of it gains the title 'habit' other aspects of it are considered part of your 'character'. Things like catch phrases and inside jokes develop.
All of this becomes a part of who I am in a sense. Granted most of these things are not really my core personality or character.
I've heard it said that a person is the sum of his experiences. I'm sure I haven't considered all the ramifications of this statement, but to some extent I think I'd agree with this statement.
Granted, I think that there is variation caused by our responses to situations. I think two people having gone through the same circumstances will still be two very different people because of how they respond to those situations. But that's not the point.
The point that I'm trying to make is that over a period of time a person, a character if you will, develops into something that is understood. However, for the most part it can only be understood within the domain in which it developed.

Phase two: Displacement.
After having gone through a great deal of development I then moved to an entirely different location. It wasn't very far from where I had grown up, but it was just far enough that I easily managed to lose most connection with the world I had come to know. I wasn't trying to cut myself off. It just happened.
So I was in a new location with new people and new experiences ahead of me. Even though I was, in a sense, the sum of my experiences, I could never effectively relate those experiences to this new environment. In order for these people to come to understand who I was they would have to experience me through the new situations that would occur in the months to come.
However, the me that they would come to know would not be the same me that my previous domain understood. For as this new domain began to understand me based on my responses to these new situations I would also be changing as I encountered these situations. In a sense I would be known as a completely different person, when in fact I was only a slightly different person.
It might be different if the cycle ended there, but that's not how cycles work.

Phase Three: Relocation.
Come the end of the school year I moved back home to my old stomping grounds. It was actually very much the same situation that occurred when I moved away to begin with. Not only did I have to adjust to this lifestyle, but I was also cut off from the second domain, and I couldn't ever effectively relate my experiences to the first domain.
The only difference was that this first domain had already known me based on previous experiences. This meant that though it could tell the differences in me, it also had a previous understanding of me to measure the changes against.

Towards the start of this post I mentioned things like catch phrases and habits. It was actually these small things that allowed me to notices that there were changes in me that couldn't easily be understood by the different domains. As I would go from one domain to the other I found that there were certain things that I couldn't take with me. Not physical things, but mental. In a sense I had to set aside certain parts of my life because they wouldn't make any sense in the new area. There were tons of inside jokes that were way outside their domain. These things could not live in such an environment. There were habits of living that weren't possible considering the physical structure of my living quarters. All these things, that had become a part of how I lived my life, had to be set aside because they meant nothing.
It was the same thing upon returning to my home town. I had to then set aside other things while at the same time picking up a few of the old things. Of course because of the changes in my life not all of the old things still fit. It's like leaving a set of clothes for a while and coming back to find that you've grown out of them.

Right now I'm thinking about how the end of Summer is coming. And when it does I will have to again set aside many of the things that have become a part of my life, and again pick up a few shreds of the life I left at the beginning of the Summer.
I am excited though, because this time I know that there are a few things that I will have to pick up when I get there. Last time I had to start from scratch. This time I will be able to build on an already existent concept.

Two Weeks Well Spent

I just got back from my camp stretch. Two and a half weeks of high school camps with less than a twenty-four hour break between the two camps. Good times.
It started with Veritas. I know I've written about that a few times. This year was different though, because I was one of the leaders. It was rough, what with the lack of sleep after living for two months on and average of nine hours of sleep every night. (yeah, I'm a slacker). It also took a lot of energy to keep up with those kids.
I was able to get to know a lot of really cool people though. At the same time I was learning all kinds of crazy things about myself. I might wright about those some other time.

Anyway, that week ended only to be followed by the next week out at Tygh Valley. I was there with four kids from my church. I was mostly just responsible for three of them. It was a lot of fun. I was able to get to know those three boys a lot better, which is really cool.
Granted, my boys weren't anywhere near being perfect angels. But that's okay, 'cause neither am I.

There is just so much that I've learned about myself this summer. I'm not sure that I could explain most of it. There might be future posts on the matter in the weeks to come.
I only have just over a month before I head back to school. I leave on the 27th of August. I'm really excited about it. I'll get to see most of my school friends again, make new memories, reminisce about old memories. It's weird, I'll probably explain the juggling act of life later, but it's something I've been thinking about for a long time.

Well, for the next few weeks I'm going to be doing a lot of the same things I was doing for the two months previous to my camp break. Laters.

'We Will Be Experiencing Some Techincal Difficulties'

I'm not sure what I'm doing. It's a strange thing. While I was at college I found myself spending too much time with other people to the point that I wasn't getting enough rest. Now I sleep way too much, and--but for my buddy Ben--I'm not spending very much time around my friends. Sure I manage to get out a little. I've been helping out with stuff at my church. But that only gets me involved with people who are older and younger than I am. Not that I don't appreciate those friendships. They are great people and I love the time that I spend with them. But it's such a shift from living around people who are just about all in the same age bracket.
As I mentioned, Ben has been around here quite often. That has helped considerably.
But I'm still not sure what I'm doing. I'm kind of in a place where I'm looking at things that I've always accepted as 'the way things should be' and asking 'is that really the way things should be'. But maybe I'm just going about things the wrong way. Maybe I'm doing the exact same thing I was before, just trying to come at it from a different angle. This is going to take a while.
Laters.

Truth Exists

I don't know what I'm going to do
In a year,
In a month,
When I'm thirty-six.
I don't know where I'm going to be:
In this state,
In this country,
Across the great blue oceans.
I don't know what's going on around me:
In politics,
In economics,
In people's lives.
There are a lot of things that I don't know.
What's most important is what I do know.
I know I'm a sinner;
Imperfect,
Unclean,
Disgusting and shameful.
I know that I've been forgiven;
By grace
From God,
Through one perfect sacrifice.
I know that I am cared for;
Eternally,
Thoroughly,
By one who knows my every need.
I know that I am heard;
Every tear,
Every word,
Every cry for joy or pain.
I know that I am loved;
Completely,
Perfectly,
Until the end of time,
And beyond.

A New Season

I'm back from school. Back in the good, ol', little, home town. I'm not even sure that last sentence made any sense.
Anyway, a lot of opportunities have opened up for me here. Mostly a lot of stuff in my church. I'm going to start running sound for Sunday services. My "training" will be this Sunday morning. I'm excited about that. It will be good to get some experience under my belt before this next school year, what with the sound tech job I'm hoping to get at school.
It also looks like I'll have a lot of opportunities to get involved in my church's youth stuff. I want to be careful with that though. I don't want to be the guy who never grows out of the youth group. I want to be involved because I think these kids need people who care about them to be involved in their lives outside of their home family--though inside the family of God. (Again, not sure if that sentence will make much sense.)
Anyway, I've got a few things lined up for me this summer. I'm looking forward to it. Maybe I'll keep you all posted. Laters.

Going Home Some Day

I'm going home.
It's true, I am going back home from college this week. I have to wait 'till Saturday because the college choir is singing for graduation. But after that's done, I'm heading home.
Finals week is almost over. I've taken all my tests. I just have to give one presentation tomorrow. Nothing terribly difficult. Friday I get to rest. Saturday I sing and come home. My freshman year is virtually over.
It's a crazy thing to think about. A kid who never thought he'd be in college has just finished his first year. It has been an interesting year. I've learned a lot: academically, socially, spiritually. I'm not the same person I was when I came to this school. And I don't want to be that person ever again. Sure there are still things about me that need to change. I'm not nearly perfect, and I won't be this side of Heaven. But I still desire change. I want to change in the right direction though.
It's hard, when you've grown up somewhere, and you have established a mentality that is attached to that place. And when you leave that place, your mentality changes and the way you view and live life changes. But when you come back it's so easy to pick up the old ways, and start living the old life as if nothing over the last few months or years had ever happened. That's the easy way to do it. The path of least resistance. Sure I can live this way here, because this is the kind of life I know here. But when I try to apply this life to that place, there are a lot of things that make it difficult.
I know it's not impossible. "For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37). It is possible, but it will be hard. The best thing I can do is continue to pursue my relationship with God. It can happen. Pray for me.
The good news is when this is all over I'm going home...my real home.

To Now, Tomorrow, And The Rest Of Forever. Cheers!

I've tried posting twice in the last three days. Neither of those times really happened.
Anyway, I'm doing pretty well these days. I mean, other than the fact that I have a three to five page argument paper rough draft due in three days, an exam that same day, two concerts coming up (band/orchestra on the 20th, and choir on the 27th--both Fridays), and a pretty good size project due in three weeks that really needs to be started as soon as possible...other than that, I'm doing great. Really, those things don't get me down. I mean, that's just a part of the life God has me living. No need to get freaked out about it. At the end of it I'll be in Heaven no matter what happens. So, I might as well live like it.
Granted, I probably need to get myself a little more motivated in all these projects that I have. It's not that I am drudging the projects. I'm actually very excited about them for the most part. That's the nice thing about college, you get to work on the things you love doing and study the things your interested in. Even in classes like speech and writing you can turn the focus of your projects toward things that your interested in.
The class I'm not looking forward to is social studies. History: I just don't get it. I'm not good at the 'names & dates' game, and I have no idea what the social-economic implications of the Soviet revolt were. (and, no, I don't know what the Soviet revolt was, or if there ever was one)
Yeah, I know, some of you are thinking 'this kid is in poor shape'. Pretty much. Like I said, I'm not looking forward to it.
I am, however, looking forward to music history. The cool thing is music history actually takes the place of the the usual world history class taught at my school. After writing my research paper on music in the church I am quite excited about music history. That class should be able to give me a better idea of the development of music in the church, and how it affected and was affected by the culture around it. Oh yes, it should be very interesting.