'He loves me...He loves me not...Nope, He loves me."

It's such an odd thing. I don't feel at all like I have changed, really. And yet, I know that I have changed a lot. I mean, at the very least my ideas and perceptions have changed greatly.
It's been three months and three days since I left school. Even in that short time I have learned so much.
What have I learned?
I have begun to understand God's love for people; all people.
He's been teaching me for a long time, but this summer has been a big eye opener.
First it was just a matter of understanding--and I mean truly knowing--that God loves me. Then he began to teach me the ramifications of that. What does it mean to be truly and completely loved by God? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But I'll tell you what, it is good.
The next thing was helping me understand that He loves other people too--everyone to be exact. It was then that he was able to help me begin to love other people too. It's hard to judge people when you look at them and think 'God loves this person'.
My biggest struggle comes when I begin judging people. I establish their faults, their shortcomings. I, in essence, decide whether or not they are good enough for me to love them. It's not something that I'm proud of, but that's basically what I end up doing. I'm sure that I am not rid of it completely yet. I probably won't this side of heaven. But God has been working in me, and He's been changing me. Like I said before, it's hard to judge someone when you think 'God loves this person in spite of anything they may have done, or may do.'
I mean, if God loves them, who am I to say that they are not good enough for my love? Any true, good and pure love that I might have to extend to others wouldn't be my own anyway. We humans don't naturally love. Not real love. We can falsify love for our own means, but selfish love is no love at all. Only God can teach us how to truly love. So any love that I could give would have to come from Him. Who am I to withhold that love from those He already loves anyway?

See, at the beginning of summer if you had told me all these things, I would have readily agreed with you. However, I probably only actually believed half of it. What one knows as truth, and what one believes in can be two very different things. There were lots of things about God that I knew were true, but I didn't actually believe it. There are probably still a lot of things that I know to be true yet don't believe. The good news is, God isn't done with me yet. I'm excited to get to know Him better over this next year.
Laters.