Well, here I is. I'm getting ready to head out on Monday. Heading back to the big world of college. I'm excited, but I'm also very much a little worried about getting everything together. I mean, I'm sure I'll be able to survive just fine without everything that I own. I could do very well for myself without most of the stuff I end up taking. But I'm sure some of you know how it is. There's just something inside me that wants to be ready for every conceivable situation. Call me crazy.
I've just been rummaging through my entire collected life, these past couple days; going through almost everything I own. Looking through old memories, relearning old lessons, remembering old friends. All the usual stuff that happens when someone goes through his old stuff.
Of course, it makes for slow packing when everything I go through takes a few minutes to look through. And then I keep running into walls. Not physical walls, but mental ones. The one I run into the most often while packing is when I don't know what to go for next. There are a million and one things that need to be taken care of, and I can't pick which one to do first.
I'm not too worried. I know everything will come together. I just need to keep gettin' things done. I'm excited for when all this packing stuff will be over.
Laters.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
The Finnish Line Is Only The Beginning
Almost there. Where? I'm not sure. Perhaps I'm just pulling into the next starting block. There is always the chance of it being the finish line. One never knows. But it looks like I'm just arriving at another beginning.
What does it mean to finish a journey anyway? Is the end of one adventure not simply the starting point of the next. We tend to measure situations by the excitement or emotion that the event brings to us. We tend to look at the events in our lives that create high levels of emotion as the only real part of the journey, or at least as the only meaningful parts.
It's kind of like a runner who lives for the feeling of running. To him, the rest of life might just seem like a pointless expanse of time which is only required because he is incapable of running non-stop. But if that's how we really see life, then we are going to spend most of our lives wishing we were somewhere else, and feeling like our lives are meaningless. However, if you were to ask someone who has made running his life's purpose, he would probably tell you that what he does while he's not running has almost, if not completely equal importance to the running itself.
What is it that an athlete does while he isn't running? He stretches, rests, eats, and gets help and encouragement from his coach and other people. If he didn't stop to do these things, his running would only get worse, he could become discouraged, and eventually he would die.
If life was just one big adventure without any change in pace, the outcome would be painful, discouraging, and disastrous. But life isn't like that. The big adventures come and go. And between those big adventures we live out some of the most important times of our lives. So why do we look at those times as meaningless, pointless, useless times that we would rather just skip.
We don't always know what's going on. And that's okay. But I think a lot of the time we just don't know that there is a point, so we don't even look. One thing leads to another and we start thinking that life is pointless, and we'd rather be doing anything else.
So I don't think that I'm losing anything as this time in my life is coming to an end. Sure there are a lot of things about this next year of school that I'm a little worried about, and there are aspects of it that make me wonder when I'll be able to move on to the next thing. But I see this as another opportunity to learn and to grow in new ways. I don't know what's going to happen, but that's half the fun.
When life is one learning and growing experience followed by another it makes everything seem so much more interesting. No two days are the same. What does God want to show you about Himself today?
What does it mean to finish a journey anyway? Is the end of one adventure not simply the starting point of the next. We tend to measure situations by the excitement or emotion that the event brings to us. We tend to look at the events in our lives that create high levels of emotion as the only real part of the journey, or at least as the only meaningful parts.
It's kind of like a runner who lives for the feeling of running. To him, the rest of life might just seem like a pointless expanse of time which is only required because he is incapable of running non-stop. But if that's how we really see life, then we are going to spend most of our lives wishing we were somewhere else, and feeling like our lives are meaningless. However, if you were to ask someone who has made running his life's purpose, he would probably tell you that what he does while he's not running has almost, if not completely equal importance to the running itself.
What is it that an athlete does while he isn't running? He stretches, rests, eats, and gets help and encouragement from his coach and other people. If he didn't stop to do these things, his running would only get worse, he could become discouraged, and eventually he would die.
If life was just one big adventure without any change in pace, the outcome would be painful, discouraging, and disastrous. But life isn't like that. The big adventures come and go. And between those big adventures we live out some of the most important times of our lives. So why do we look at those times as meaningless, pointless, useless times that we would rather just skip.
We don't always know what's going on. And that's okay. But I think a lot of the time we just don't know that there is a point, so we don't even look. One thing leads to another and we start thinking that life is pointless, and we'd rather be doing anything else.
So I don't think that I'm losing anything as this time in my life is coming to an end. Sure there are a lot of things about this next year of school that I'm a little worried about, and there are aspects of it that make me wonder when I'll be able to move on to the next thing. But I see this as another opportunity to learn and to grow in new ways. I don't know what's going to happen, but that's half the fun.
When life is one learning and growing experience followed by another it makes everything seem so much more interesting. No two days are the same. What does God want to show you about Himself today?
Monday, August 13, 2007
My Buddy
My friends' wedding is this next Saturday. Their pretty excited. To be honest, I'm pretty excited too. Sure they are going to have a lot of rough times ahead of them, but who doesn't.
It's a crazy thing. He and I were talking not to long back when he said that he never would have thought that he would be the one to get married first. He was always the free spirited one. Not one for big responsibilities. And I was the one who lived by the book; always analyzing and second guessing his crazier ideas. It's a wonder we ever became friends to begin with. Even so, how we ever managed to stay friends is another mystery. But we did, and we are. And now he is, and I'm not anywhere close.
Of course he has matured a lot in the last few years. Now he's got himself a full time job, a home, and soon enough a wife.
As for me, I get to live the life of a vagabond. Bound to no one, and free from many responsibilities. I have no constant employment, and nothing full time. I live where I can (currently that means living with my parents while I'm not at school).
We almost switched roles, as it were. I'm sure a good chunk of it has a lot to do with each one's effect on the other. He's helped me out of my box, and I've helped him to consider things before taking action. It's a really cool relationship we have. Just the kind of thing God would put together. Like, peanut butter and potato chips.
Who woulda' thunk it?
It's a crazy thing. He and I were talking not to long back when he said that he never would have thought that he would be the one to get married first. He was always the free spirited one. Not one for big responsibilities. And I was the one who lived by the book; always analyzing and second guessing his crazier ideas. It's a wonder we ever became friends to begin with. Even so, how we ever managed to stay friends is another mystery. But we did, and we are. And now he is, and I'm not anywhere close.
Of course he has matured a lot in the last few years. Now he's got himself a full time job, a home, and soon enough a wife.
As for me, I get to live the life of a vagabond. Bound to no one, and free from many responsibilities. I have no constant employment, and nothing full time. I live where I can (currently that means living with my parents while I'm not at school).
We almost switched roles, as it were. I'm sure a good chunk of it has a lot to do with each one's effect on the other. He's helped me out of my box, and I've helped him to consider things before taking action. It's a really cool relationship we have. Just the kind of thing God would put together. Like, peanut butter and potato chips.
Who woulda' thunk it?
Friday, August 10, 2007
Word To My Brothers
So, my brother is gone for a week. Well, one of my brothers at least. The one with whom I share a room, to be exact. Yeah, I have three brothers and two sisters. I have to say, it's really interesting to see how different each one is, and yet at the same time there are so many similarities. I was actually told just this evening by one of my friends that when they are around me they are able to see the connection between all my brothers. That comment caught me off guard. I wasn't sure what to do with that. So I asked what they meant.
Some of it I was able to figure out on my own. I have a nonsensical side similar to my oldest brother, and an analytical element somewhat akin to that of my next older brother. The part that stumped me was the youngest. What in the world did I have in common with him--besides the fact that he has the same hair (it's okay though, 'cause he has a completely different style.) I asked my friend where there could possibly be any similarities in our personalities. The response: his sense of humor. Maybe what she meant was the way that we can both find just about any situation humorous if we think it appropriate. I think that would be where I draw the line.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not dissing on my brother's sense of humor. He just has some development yet to go through. I can remember being where he is at humoristically. I do think though that he might not understand the whole 'appropriate time' thing. But nobody is perfect.
Anyway, it's an interesting thing to think about, the similarities and differences in siblings. I mean, I look back at my childhood, and it just makes sense that I would turn out the way I did. I can see how I could end up with those traits that are similar to my siblings--at least my older ones.
Growing up I spent a lot of time playing with my oldest brother. I don't know if he had much of it before I came along, but it seemed to me like we developed our nonsensical humor together. Really that's the only way that kind of humor works. Either it works off of what the other person just said, or it requires that the other person at least understand it. 'Cause it might not make any sense what so ever. Or it might just take a mind that is attuned to it in order to decipher it.
As far as my analytical side goes--or came, to be more precise--"I grew up with my brother". Anyone who knows my brother would understand once I give that statement. The only way to get through my childhood without legally loosing possession everything I had was to learn how to decipher my brothers words. I had to learn how to look at phrasing and search for any loopholes or technicalities that might exist. That's exactly what he did, and he was good at using it to work his way around systems. He's not evil, just very good at what he does. I don't think exactly like him. Far from it. But I know how to analyze to an extent.
Now, when it comes to my little brother I can only guess that he got it from me...or he just made it up. I'm pretty sure I did not learn it from him.
So yeah, my older brother is gone for a week. It's kinda' nice. I have yet to live in a situation where I get my own room. So I take advantage of, and thoroughly enjoy the times when my room mate is away--wherever I'm living at the time. I've been living it up this week. Staying up as late as I want, listening to music while I go to sleep, closing the door all the way at night (yeah, something about oxygen. I don't get it.) It's a good life.
I'm not sure what it would be like to have a room completely to myself. There would probably be a lot less stuff that belonged to someone else. It would probably be just as messy. Though it would be a lot easier to clean up, because I wouldn't have to wonder where something went, or if it was okay to throw something away.
Anyway, for a week I'm free. Laters.
Some of it I was able to figure out on my own. I have a nonsensical side similar to my oldest brother, and an analytical element somewhat akin to that of my next older brother. The part that stumped me was the youngest. What in the world did I have in common with him--besides the fact that he has the same hair (it's okay though, 'cause he has a completely different style.) I asked my friend where there could possibly be any similarities in our personalities. The response: his sense of humor. Maybe what she meant was the way that we can both find just about any situation humorous if we think it appropriate. I think that would be where I draw the line.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not dissing on my brother's sense of humor. He just has some development yet to go through. I can remember being where he is at humoristically. I do think though that he might not understand the whole 'appropriate time' thing. But nobody is perfect.
Anyway, it's an interesting thing to think about, the similarities and differences in siblings. I mean, I look back at my childhood, and it just makes sense that I would turn out the way I did. I can see how I could end up with those traits that are similar to my siblings--at least my older ones.
Growing up I spent a lot of time playing with my oldest brother. I don't know if he had much of it before I came along, but it seemed to me like we developed our nonsensical humor together. Really that's the only way that kind of humor works. Either it works off of what the other person just said, or it requires that the other person at least understand it. 'Cause it might not make any sense what so ever. Or it might just take a mind that is attuned to it in order to decipher it.
As far as my analytical side goes--or came, to be more precise--"I grew up with my brother". Anyone who knows my brother would understand once I give that statement. The only way to get through my childhood without legally loosing possession everything I had was to learn how to decipher my brothers words. I had to learn how to look at phrasing and search for any loopholes or technicalities that might exist. That's exactly what he did, and he was good at using it to work his way around systems. He's not evil, just very good at what he does. I don't think exactly like him. Far from it. But I know how to analyze to an extent.
Now, when it comes to my little brother I can only guess that he got it from me...or he just made it up. I'm pretty sure I did not learn it from him.
So yeah, my older brother is gone for a week. It's kinda' nice. I have yet to live in a situation where I get my own room. So I take advantage of, and thoroughly enjoy the times when my room mate is away--wherever I'm living at the time. I've been living it up this week. Staying up as late as I want, listening to music while I go to sleep, closing the door all the way at night (yeah, something about oxygen. I don't get it.) It's a good life.
I'm not sure what it would be like to have a room completely to myself. There would probably be a lot less stuff that belonged to someone else. It would probably be just as messy. Though it would be a lot easier to clean up, because I wouldn't have to wonder where something went, or if it was okay to throw something away.
Anyway, for a week I'm free. Laters.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
'He loves me...He loves me not...Nope, He loves me."
It's such an odd thing. I don't feel at all like I have changed, really. And yet, I know that I have changed a lot. I mean, at the very least my ideas and perceptions have changed greatly.
It's been three months and three days since I left school. Even in that short time I have learned so much.
What have I learned?
I have begun to understand God's love for people; all people.
He's been teaching me for a long time, but this summer has been a big eye opener.
First it was just a matter of understanding--and I mean truly knowing--that God loves me. Then he began to teach me the ramifications of that. What does it mean to be truly and completely loved by God? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But I'll tell you what, it is good.
The next thing was helping me understand that He loves other people too--everyone to be exact. It was then that he was able to help me begin to love other people too. It's hard to judge people when you look at them and think 'God loves this person'.
My biggest struggle comes when I begin judging people. I establish their faults, their shortcomings. I, in essence, decide whether or not they are good enough for me to love them. It's not something that I'm proud of, but that's basically what I end up doing. I'm sure that I am not rid of it completely yet. I probably won't this side of heaven. But God has been working in me, and He's been changing me. Like I said before, it's hard to judge someone when you think 'God loves this person in spite of anything they may have done, or may do.'
I mean, if God loves them, who am I to say that they are not good enough for my love? Any true, good and pure love that I might have to extend to others wouldn't be my own anyway. We humans don't naturally love. Not real love. We can falsify love for our own means, but selfish love is no love at all. Only God can teach us how to truly love. So any love that I could give would have to come from Him. Who am I to withhold that love from those He already loves anyway?
See, at the beginning of summer if you had told me all these things, I would have readily agreed with you. However, I probably only actually believed half of it. What one knows as truth, and what one believes in can be two very different things. There were lots of things about God that I knew were true, but I didn't actually believe it. There are probably still a lot of things that I know to be true yet don't believe. The good news is, God isn't done with me yet. I'm excited to get to know Him better over this next year.
Laters.
It's been three months and three days since I left school. Even in that short time I have learned so much.
What have I learned?
I have begun to understand God's love for people; all people.
He's been teaching me for a long time, but this summer has been a big eye opener.
First it was just a matter of understanding--and I mean truly knowing--that God loves me. Then he began to teach me the ramifications of that. What does it mean to be truly and completely loved by God? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But I'll tell you what, it is good.
The next thing was helping me understand that He loves other people too--everyone to be exact. It was then that he was able to help me begin to love other people too. It's hard to judge people when you look at them and think 'God loves this person'.
My biggest struggle comes when I begin judging people. I establish their faults, their shortcomings. I, in essence, decide whether or not they are good enough for me to love them. It's not something that I'm proud of, but that's basically what I end up doing. I'm sure that I am not rid of it completely yet. I probably won't this side of heaven. But God has been working in me, and He's been changing me. Like I said before, it's hard to judge someone when you think 'God loves this person in spite of anything they may have done, or may do.'
I mean, if God loves them, who am I to say that they are not good enough for my love? Any true, good and pure love that I might have to extend to others wouldn't be my own anyway. We humans don't naturally love. Not real love. We can falsify love for our own means, but selfish love is no love at all. Only God can teach us how to truly love. So any love that I could give would have to come from Him. Who am I to withhold that love from those He already loves anyway?
See, at the beginning of summer if you had told me all these things, I would have readily agreed with you. However, I probably only actually believed half of it. What one knows as truth, and what one believes in can be two very different things. There were lots of things about God that I knew were true, but I didn't actually believe it. There are probably still a lot of things that I know to be true yet don't believe. The good news is, God isn't done with me yet. I'm excited to get to know Him better over this next year.
Laters.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
The Last, Best Hope For Mankind
Hope. What is it? Why do we have it? Do we have it? What does it mean?
The way our culture has come to understand hope is in the sense of a wishy washy feeling that stirs one to excitement over something they long for. It's nothing more than a wish made on a shooting star. 'I hope this will happen', 'I hope I don't have to do this', 'I hope', ' I hope', 'I hope'. Nothing solid, only the dreams of our desires. Even the 'hope' that people speak of when there is only one chance left for success--"our last, best hope"--even that is never certain (though it always seems to work out in the movies.)
I have found one place, however, where hope is not just a fantasy of the mind. The Bible speaks of the hope that we find in Christ, and in the promises of God. In Christ because he truly is the last best hope for mankind. And in the promises of God because God cannot lie. The author of Hebrews describes that hope as "an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." (Heb 6:19)
And what is the hope we find in God's promises and in Christ's salvation? Surely it is not hope for this life alone. Paul clearly says "If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." (I Cor 15:19) But as God's children we are promised a place in Him both here on earth and in heaven.
We have a hope; a solid and definite hope. We have a hope in a perfect and beautiful relationship with the creator of the universe. With this hope comes great peace and joy. This is the best hope man has ever known.
So why do we christians continue to seek out these trivial wishes that we call 'hopes and dreams'. Life on this planet is hard, and so we 'hope' that things will be better just around the corner. Even for those who have a 'good life'--as some would call it--with a nice job, nice house, nice family, and all the fixings for what we as humans call 'good'--even those people have struggles that they 'hope' will disappear. I have hoped for such things. But we are told quite clearly that we will meet with trials in this life. We know that there will be struggles and difficulties. We know that we will be wronged, and that there may be nothing we can do about it.
So where should we find our hope? Should we look for it in another town? Perhaps in our next big break? Maybe in a relationship with another person? Where is our anchor? Is it on this planet? Or is it in our God and Father who not only has a place for us in heaven, but also holds a place for us in him this very day?
It just saddens me to hear and see my brothers and sisters going through life as if they don't really have any true hope. It saddens me because they have heard of the greatest, truest, most definite hope of all time, and yet they still live miserable lives, trudging along until the next best thing comes. I've seen it over and over. And I have no doubt that I'll see it many times again before my time on this planet is through.
Well, 'nough said. Laters.
The way our culture has come to understand hope is in the sense of a wishy washy feeling that stirs one to excitement over something they long for. It's nothing more than a wish made on a shooting star. 'I hope this will happen', 'I hope I don't have to do this', 'I hope', ' I hope', 'I hope'. Nothing solid, only the dreams of our desires. Even the 'hope' that people speak of when there is only one chance left for success--"our last, best hope"--even that is never certain (though it always seems to work out in the movies.)
I have found one place, however, where hope is not just a fantasy of the mind. The Bible speaks of the hope that we find in Christ, and in the promises of God. In Christ because he truly is the last best hope for mankind. And in the promises of God because God cannot lie. The author of Hebrews describes that hope as "an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." (Heb 6:19)
And what is the hope we find in God's promises and in Christ's salvation? Surely it is not hope for this life alone. Paul clearly says "If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." (I Cor 15:19) But as God's children we are promised a place in Him both here on earth and in heaven.
We have a hope; a solid and definite hope. We have a hope in a perfect and beautiful relationship with the creator of the universe. With this hope comes great peace and joy. This is the best hope man has ever known.
So why do we christians continue to seek out these trivial wishes that we call 'hopes and dreams'. Life on this planet is hard, and so we 'hope' that things will be better just around the corner. Even for those who have a 'good life'--as some would call it--with a nice job, nice house, nice family, and all the fixings for what we as humans call 'good'--even those people have struggles that they 'hope' will disappear. I have hoped for such things. But we are told quite clearly that we will meet with trials in this life. We know that there will be struggles and difficulties. We know that we will be wronged, and that there may be nothing we can do about it.
So where should we find our hope? Should we look for it in another town? Perhaps in our next big break? Maybe in a relationship with another person? Where is our anchor? Is it on this planet? Or is it in our God and Father who not only has a place for us in heaven, but also holds a place for us in him this very day?
It just saddens me to hear and see my brothers and sisters going through life as if they don't really have any true hope. It saddens me because they have heard of the greatest, truest, most definite hope of all time, and yet they still live miserable lives, trudging along until the next best thing comes. I've seen it over and over. And I have no doubt that I'll see it many times again before my time on this planet is through.
Well, 'nough said. Laters.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Honk If You Can Understand This Post
I would like to take this time to try to explain a phenomenon that I have encountered in the last couple years. It is by no means a new phenomenon to the human race. I'm sure many have encountered it before me. But at the same time, there are probably at least a few who have never come across it.
I'm not quite sure what to call it at this point. Perhaps that will change by the end of this post.
It all has to do with movement. Not simply moving an arm, or moving your head. Rather moving your whole body to a completely different area (i.e. from my home town to Salem). New location, new atmosphere, new responsibilities, new people. In essence a completely different life. And that's basically the premise behind this phenomenon; a different life.
Let me start from the beginning.
Phase One: Development.
I grew up in one general area. I made lots of friends as well as thousands of memories. Under such circumstances one tends to adopt a particular way of life; a pattern if you will. This becomes the norm. Some of it gains the title 'habit' other aspects of it are considered part of your 'character'. Things like catch phrases and inside jokes develop.
All of this becomes a part of who I am in a sense. Granted most of these things are not really my core personality or character.
I've heard it said that a person is the sum of his experiences. I'm sure I haven't considered all the ramifications of this statement, but to some extent I think I'd agree with this statement.
Granted, I think that there is variation caused by our responses to situations. I think two people having gone through the same circumstances will still be two very different people because of how they respond to those situations. But that's not the point.
The point that I'm trying to make is that over a period of time a person, a character if you will, develops into something that is understood. However, for the most part it can only be understood within the domain in which it developed.
Phase two: Displacement.
After having gone through a great deal of development I then moved to an entirely different location. It wasn't very far from where I had grown up, but it was just far enough that I easily managed to lose most connection with the world I had come to know. I wasn't trying to cut myself off. It just happened.
So I was in a new location with new people and new experiences ahead of me. Even though I was, in a sense, the sum of my experiences, I could never effectively relate those experiences to this new environment. In order for these people to come to understand who I was they would have to experience me through the new situations that would occur in the months to come.
However, the me that they would come to know would not be the same me that my previous domain understood. For as this new domain began to understand me based on my responses to these new situations I would also be changing as I encountered these situations. In a sense I would be known as a completely different person, when in fact I was only a slightly different person.
It might be different if the cycle ended there, but that's not how cycles work.
Phase Three: Relocation.
Come the end of the school year I moved back home to my old stomping grounds. It was actually very much the same situation that occurred when I moved away to begin with. Not only did I have to adjust to this lifestyle, but I was also cut off from the second domain, and I couldn't ever effectively relate my experiences to the first domain.
The only difference was that this first domain had already known me based on previous experiences. This meant that though it could tell the differences in me, it also had a previous understanding of me to measure the changes against.
Towards the start of this post I mentioned things like catch phrases and habits. It was actually these small things that allowed me to notices that there were changes in me that couldn't easily be understood by the different domains. As I would go from one domain to the other I found that there were certain things that I couldn't take with me. Not physical things, but mental. In a sense I had to set aside certain parts of my life because they wouldn't make any sense in the new area. There were tons of inside jokes that were way outside their domain. These things could not live in such an environment. There were habits of living that weren't possible considering the physical structure of my living quarters. All these things, that had become a part of how I lived my life, had to be set aside because they meant nothing.
It was the same thing upon returning to my home town. I had to then set aside other things while at the same time picking up a few of the old things. Of course because of the changes in my life not all of the old things still fit. It's like leaving a set of clothes for a while and coming back to find that you've grown out of them.
Right now I'm thinking about how the end of Summer is coming. And when it does I will have to again set aside many of the things that have become a part of my life, and again pick up a few shreds of the life I left at the beginning of the Summer.
I am excited though, because this time I know that there are a few things that I will have to pick up when I get there. Last time I had to start from scratch. This time I will be able to build on an already existent concept.
I'm not quite sure what to call it at this point. Perhaps that will change by the end of this post.
It all has to do with movement. Not simply moving an arm, or moving your head. Rather moving your whole body to a completely different area (i.e. from my home town to Salem). New location, new atmosphere, new responsibilities, new people. In essence a completely different life. And that's basically the premise behind this phenomenon; a different life.
Let me start from the beginning.
Phase One: Development.
I grew up in one general area. I made lots of friends as well as thousands of memories. Under such circumstances one tends to adopt a particular way of life; a pattern if you will. This becomes the norm. Some of it gains the title 'habit' other aspects of it are considered part of your 'character'. Things like catch phrases and inside jokes develop.
All of this becomes a part of who I am in a sense. Granted most of these things are not really my core personality or character.
I've heard it said that a person is the sum of his experiences. I'm sure I haven't considered all the ramifications of this statement, but to some extent I think I'd agree with this statement.
Granted, I think that there is variation caused by our responses to situations. I think two people having gone through the same circumstances will still be two very different people because of how they respond to those situations. But that's not the point.
The point that I'm trying to make is that over a period of time a person, a character if you will, develops into something that is understood. However, for the most part it can only be understood within the domain in which it developed.
Phase two: Displacement.
After having gone through a great deal of development I then moved to an entirely different location. It wasn't very far from where I had grown up, but it was just far enough that I easily managed to lose most connection with the world I had come to know. I wasn't trying to cut myself off. It just happened.
So I was in a new location with new people and new experiences ahead of me. Even though I was, in a sense, the sum of my experiences, I could never effectively relate those experiences to this new environment. In order for these people to come to understand who I was they would have to experience me through the new situations that would occur in the months to come.
However, the me that they would come to know would not be the same me that my previous domain understood. For as this new domain began to understand me based on my responses to these new situations I would also be changing as I encountered these situations. In a sense I would be known as a completely different person, when in fact I was only a slightly different person.
It might be different if the cycle ended there, but that's not how cycles work.
Phase Three: Relocation.
Come the end of the school year I moved back home to my old stomping grounds. It was actually very much the same situation that occurred when I moved away to begin with. Not only did I have to adjust to this lifestyle, but I was also cut off from the second domain, and I couldn't ever effectively relate my experiences to the first domain.
The only difference was that this first domain had already known me based on previous experiences. This meant that though it could tell the differences in me, it also had a previous understanding of me to measure the changes against.
Towards the start of this post I mentioned things like catch phrases and habits. It was actually these small things that allowed me to notices that there were changes in me that couldn't easily be understood by the different domains. As I would go from one domain to the other I found that there were certain things that I couldn't take with me. Not physical things, but mental. In a sense I had to set aside certain parts of my life because they wouldn't make any sense in the new area. There were tons of inside jokes that were way outside their domain. These things could not live in such an environment. There were habits of living that weren't possible considering the physical structure of my living quarters. All these things, that had become a part of how I lived my life, had to be set aside because they meant nothing.
It was the same thing upon returning to my home town. I had to then set aside other things while at the same time picking up a few of the old things. Of course because of the changes in my life not all of the old things still fit. It's like leaving a set of clothes for a while and coming back to find that you've grown out of them.
Right now I'm thinking about how the end of Summer is coming. And when it does I will have to again set aside many of the things that have become a part of my life, and again pick up a few shreds of the life I left at the beginning of the Summer.
I am excited though, because this time I know that there are a few things that I will have to pick up when I get there. Last time I had to start from scratch. This time I will be able to build on an already existent concept.
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