Hello again. Yes, it has been a long time since I last blogged. One week to be exact. I think. Well, I have alot I want to blog about, but not the mindset for any of it. I just thought I should give you a rundown of how things were going.
Haha! You know what the funny thing is. When I started this blog I figured that one, maybe two other people would read it. So I wasn't too concerned. I thought I would just write things for the sake of writing my thoughts and ideas. But now... now I have this sense that if I don't blog for a while people will wonder what ever happened to me. That and they would think I'm a slacker for not keeping posted. So I have this felling of obligation to blog. I still do write about my ideas and things that are going through my head. It's just that now I also feel I have an audience.
Some might think this to be a bad thing. I don't. I'm a performer. It's what I do. I do things in a way that causes people to think and feel. The thought and feeling I go for is usually determined by what they need to think and feel at the time. Not Manipulation. More motivation. Lord knows I don't get anything out of it. And yet peoples happiness and joy brings me satisfaction enough. Which, as Eric explained it, makes me selfish. Well guess what Eric. I am selfish. Nothin' but love, man.
Well, I guess the whole point of all that was to say that I live in front of an audience. Now that audience has moved onto my blog. Good for them.
So I thought I should blog today.
Spring Fling is almost over. It's the last night tonight. Those solos and duets I mentioned are putting me in a weird position. Sure, I have been tolled that I have done a great job performing, and that I'm so wonderful. But it was usually from smaller audiences like my church and small recitals. Anything other than that and they are confusing me with my brother, who is a phenomenal performer and happens to look alot like me. Actually I should say I look like him. The point is that usually when people say that I performed well they don't really mean it. Now people that don't even know me are congratulating me. I was down at High-School Pharmacy and this guy walks by and tells me I did a good job in spring fling. I had seen the guy around school a couple of times, but neither of us knew who the other was. It was just my face. Haha! Now maybe my brother will get that recognition.
Seniors are all gone. They had their assembly of recognition today, then they were off. I'm going to miss you guys. Some of you. I admit there are some of you that I say good riddance to. But for the most part I will miss you guys. That is until I swipe one of your lockers this next week. MUAHAHAHA! But seriously, I wish you all, not the best of luck, for I do not believe in such a thing, but rather I wish that God will bless you all in this next part of your life. And I leave you with this parting wisdom. No matter how hard life gets; no matter how frustrating, down in the dumps, and messed up this world becomes for you, God has complete control.
For those of you who don't believe in God this may not mean much to you. And to you I say, God has a plan. You are part of that plan. You may think you are fighting the current, but you're swimming down steam.
To those of you who do believe I hope you will find the peace of mind that I find in this knowledge. Life can be hard, and we may not succeed in every endeavor we take up. But It will all work out. Our failure can be what God uses to make his success.
So to all of you, strive on to do your best. Don't seek defeat, but don't be distressed by it when it comes. The world will be spinning tomorrow, if God so desires, no matter what task is left undone tonight. Do your best. What more could you do?
God bless all of you.
Attention: Days of School left. 5!
Senior count: 0! So long, and have a safe weekend. (Psh! I'm talking to Estacada teens. Yeah right.)
2 comments:
You get nothing out of it, eh? What about "peoples happiness and joy brings me satisfaction enough"? What you get out of it is satisfaction, and although intangible, it is something, indeed.
And, in a sense that every human act is motivated by selfishness, you are selfish. So am I. So is all mankind, by nature. Is there really anything wrong with that? The problem comes from society's assessment of this basic principle of humanity (which really is the basic functioning principle of all life) as "evil"...
Here's one from one of my favorite philosophers:
"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."
-Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness
I've some thoughts about this preordination/predestination as well... I shouldn't get into it all here, but so long as I'm quoting Sartre, here's another interesting thought:
"Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count on no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on Earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this Earth."
-Jean-Paul Sartre
Is that not what I had said, Eric? I said flat out, in these words, "Well guess what Eric. I am selfish." I wasn't trying to put you down. If anything I was supporting your idea. If anything, that is. Although, it was more of a passive, "this isn't exactly what I think, but it is relevant to my thought process." It's like I said, this blog is about what I'm thinking. Our conversation entered my mind, and so I thought it would be appropriate.
As for that Sartre guy. If the only thing I could count on was myself that would suck. I'm human and going to mess up. That's why it brings me such relief to know that God is incharge. I don't have to worry about messing things up. He has it all taken care of. The world isn't on my sholders.
But I am looking forward to that conversation on preordination/predestination.
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